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Q; Whats the difference between Australian girls and Iranian girls

A; Australian girls get stoned before they have sex

 

A catholic priest wakes up in hospital on a trolley bed being pushed through the wards

after having a heart attack, " Am I in Heaven he asks". "No said the nurse, we're just taking

a short cut through the children's ward."

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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, i don't know what else to do. Whenever i go home after we have been out drinking, i turn the headlights off before i get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before i go into the house, i sneak upstairs, i get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and s

A woman finds out her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friends dick. He cums in her mouth, and she immediately spits the cum into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce." 😂

A shopkeeper advertises "Sales assistant/handyman wanted" in his shop window. After a few hours go by a young simple lad walks in and says, "I'd like to apply for the job advertised in your window. Shopkeeper: Have you and previous experience? Simple Lad: No not in a shop, but I am handy because I just live around the corner. Shopkeeper: Ha ha ok I will give you a trial. I will serve this customer and you follow my lead on the next one. Customer: Hello sir, I would li

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Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak at the knees, and he begins to think irrationally? Ever wonder why?

It's because she smells like a new truck.

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A man and woman, who are both married to other people, find themselves forced to share a hotel room for a night. They feel weird at first, but they both fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, " Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, " Or we could just pretend to be married for the night? "

The man replies, " That would be amazing."

The woman smiles and says, " Okay. Get your own fucking blanket! "

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The night before a dentist appointment, a man performs cunnilingus on his girlfriend. The next morning, worried about the dentist smelling his foul breath, he brushes his teeth three times and rinses with mouthwash twice.

After arriving for his appointment, the dentist begins checking his teeth and immediately says, “You ate out your girlfriend last night, didn’t you?”

The man, completely astonished, exclaims, “How can you tell? I took extra precautions to make sure my breath smelled great, I even brushed my teeth three times and rinsed with mouthwash twice. Is the smell really still there?”

The dentist replies, “Well, your breath smells fine. But your forehead smells like ass.”

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The producers of "Survivor" have asked Yoko Ono to star in the next series.

They reckon she will do very well seeing she has been living off one dead beatle for the last 40 yrs

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2 hours ago, letsdothis said:

OK, call me dense, but I don't get it. How do you wash your hands
in a bison? 😕

Hi confused Let's,Not knowing whereabouts you live I thought this might cause a problem for a few.Ok here we go,using a little change of accent Bison can become basin,get it.Now if I was any good with I.T. I would be able to add an appropriate picture or emoji.It really bugs me that I can't.Any help will be greatly received.👍

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4 hours ago, Dave 27 said:

Hi confused Let's,Not knowing whereabouts you live I thought this might cause a problem for a few.Ok here we go,using a little change of accent Bison can become basin,get it.Now if I was any good with I.T. I would be able to add an appropriate picture or emoji.It really bugs me that I can't.Any help will be greatly received.👍

And, I can just hear that Scottish accent making it sound like an "a"
instead of an "i". 😊👍 Thanks.

I think I can help you with posting media, but it will have to be later
in the afternoon. Must sleep now. I sleep during the day. I'm in the
Eastern time zone in the US.

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11 hours ago, Dave 27 said:

Hi confused Let's,Not knowing whereabouts you live I thought this might cause a problem for a few.Ok here we go,using a little change of accent Bison can become basin,get it.Now if I was any good with I.T. I would be able to add an appropriate picture or emoji.It really bugs me that I can't.Any help will be greatly received.👍

Where are you looking to Post Pictures at. Each Part of the Forum has different determinations as to Posting.

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A guy and a giraffe go into a pub for a drink and the guy says to the barman can I have a pint of lager for myself and one for the giraffe.After hours of drinking the guy and the giraffe are absolutely steamin drunk and the barman says right you two,out you have had enough.As the guy staggers out the door the giraffe collapses on the floor.The barman shouts to the guy Hey you can't leave that Lyin their to which the guy replied that's not a lion that's a giraffe.😀

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21 hours ago, Dave 27 said:

A guy and a giraffe go into a pub for a drink and the guy says to the barman can I have a pint of lager for myself and one for the giraffe.After hours of drinking the guy and the giraffe are absolutely steamin drunk and the barman says right you two,out you have had enough.As the guy staggers out the door the giraffe collapses on the floor.The barman shouts to the guy Hey you can't leave that Lyin their to which the guy replied that's not a lion that's a giraffe.😀

Cheers for your reaction Let's.Thank goodness somebody recognises top of the range humour😀😀😀😀NOT

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