U.S. Presidential Election #3

[Foamy T. Squirrel]

I'll read anything by Mark Twain. I was able to read Huckleberry Fin in grade school, a book that is now banned in many schools, because Huck smoked tobacco and befriended an escaped black slave who he did not shoot. Huck also refused to submit to the school's indoctrination program, as he generally avoided attending it. Hence, the book is not politically correct and banned by school districts by orders of our socialist state capitalist government.

I studied German for two years in college, but have not used it since and have forgotten nearly all that I learned of German. It is a fine language, extremely precise, and perfect for high-level philosophy. If only Leora was available back then, I would have written her magnificent love letters.

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Ich werde alles von Mark Twain gelesen. Ich war in der Lage Huckleberry Fin in der Grundschule zu lesen, ein Buch, das jetzt in vielen Schulen verboten wird, weil Huck Tabak geraucht und befreundete einen entflohenen schwarzen Sklaven, die er nicht zu schießen. Huck weigerte sich auch, die Schule Indoktrination Programm vorzulegen, wie er es in der Regel die Teilnahme an vermieden. Daher ist das Buch nicht politisch korrekt und von den Schulbezirken von Bestellungen unseres sozialistischen Staates kapitalistische Regierung verboten.

Ich studierte Deutsch für zwei Jahre in der Schule, haben aber nicht verwendet, da und haben fast alle vergessen, dass ich von Deutsch gelernt. Es ist eine feine Sprache, extrem präzise und perfekt für High-Level-Philosophie. Wenn nur Leora damals vorhanden war, würde ich ihre wundervollen Liebesbriefe geschrieben haben.

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When conversing with my foreign friends, I will often try to provide a translation that is appropriate to their nationality. I have also done this as a polite service to people who speak British and Australian English. I even do this for Mr. Box, who does an excellent job of speaking English.

Wenn sie mit meinen ausländischen Freunden im Gespräch, werde ich oft versuchen, eine Übersetzung zu schaffen, deren Nationalität geeignet ist. Ich habe auch das als eine höfliche Bedienung für Menschen gemacht, die britischen und australischen Englisch sprechen. Ich tue dies auch für Mr. Box, die von Englisch sprechen eine ausgezeichnete Arbeit leistet.

[woodworker]

Well, back in grade school, I hated it.   The teacher would roll out this big cumbersome TV set and turn it on PBS at a certain time, and then this heavy set German woman standing by this damn cuckcoo clock would say in a husky voice,.. "Gutten Tag Kindren".

And you were suppose to repeat back or reply to her when she would ask you something.  As if she could really hear any of us in reality.    But I was pretty good at lip sync, until one day I refused to even do that.   It caused a big stir and the principal (Das Fuhrer) even called my mother down to the school.    

Anyway, it's all academic anymore, since they'll all be speaking Arabic over there from now on.  

 

[Foamy T. Squirrel]

My German professor was a hottie. Very similar to Leora. But I always mixed up my German sentences with my Spanish (four years, forced fed), so I was a lousy student. Still, I went to the classes, but primarily just so I could drool over her like the other male students. After class, she would often sit in her office listening to the speeches of Adolf Hitler. She wasn't a National Socialist, she explained, but it was because he was a master at oratory. Too bad she didn't oratory me!

[woodworker]

35 minutes ago, Foamy T. Squirrel said:

My German professor was a hottie. Very similar to Leora. But I always mixed up my German sentences with my Spanish (four years, forced fed), so I was a lousy student. Still, I went to the classes, but primarily just so I could drool over her like the other male students. After class, she would often sit in her office listening to the speeches of Adolf Hitler. She wasn't a National Socialist, she explained, but it was because he was a master at oratory. Too bad she didn't oratory me!

I only had one decent looking teacher in high school.  Mrs. Dudley.   But she ended up becoming a real bitch.   She was kind of sexy alright, maybe twenty eight or so.  But she was the kind of woman that was used to dominating her husband, and beating him over the head with a rolling pin.   And that kind of shit doesn't fly with me.  

But for a while there, everyone thought there was something going on between her and I.

On the very first day in her classroom, she passed out lined paper and told everyone that she wanted to know something that they had always wanted to do.   And I wrote down, that I had always wanted to spend a weekend in a motel room with my science teacher.  

She later said to me,.. on another day, after we had a big quarrel.   "And after what you wrote to me, I thought you were so mature."    The fucking bitch was obviously flattered.   But she and I soon became bitter enemies, and I was done with that class as well. 

[StnCld316]

1 hour ago, Foamy T. Squirrel said:

Woodworker: Have you been taking German lessons from Darkman?????

I told you the google translator sucked.

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Woodworker: Waren Sie schon Deutschunterricht von Darkman nehmen ?????

Ich sagte Ihnen, die Google-Übersetzer gesaugt.

I seem to get better Translation from BING than I get from Google.

[woodworker]

9 minutes ago, StnCld316 said:

I seem to get better Translation from BING than I get from Google.

Well, Like I said,.. They'll all be speaking Arabic over there in a little while, so I guess my not knowing German isn't such a big thing after all. 

Auf hobblin da speaky das Deutsche.   How do you say 'Allah Akbar' in German anyway? 

[woodworker]

The Box must be in bed sleeping.   It's like, "Don't speak too loud, or you might wake up the children."  

Then again, he might also be out on the streets battling for his life against some of those Syrian refugees.  

Things are getting pretty rough over there.  

[Catmaster]

Allah ist groß 

[Foamy T. Squirrel]

Y Jesús bendijo a los niños ...

See, I'm practicing too. Culture change is such a bitch...ain't it?

[Foamy T. Squirrel]

1 hour ago, StnCld316 said:

I seem to get better Translation from BING than I get from Google.

The Bing translator is quite good, and unlike google, it can also handle the Klingon language.

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bing mughwI' ngoDqoq luHar QaQ 'ej unlike google, tlhIngan Hol laH je DeS 'oH.

 

[MrBox]

 

[MrBox]