Slender Man

The day my son told me he was gay, I turned my back on him. That was my first mistake. My grandad said "It's going to be horrendous on the roads this weekend, snow is forecast." "Tell me something I don't know." I replied. "I can get my whole fist up your Nanna's arse." He said.

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamoured with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Angrily, she says no and gets off at the next stop. The man then goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with a nun. "Well," says the bus driver. "Every night at 8 o'clock she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you. The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight he sees the nun and appears before her. "Oh, God!" She exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun she must first have sex to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down an dirty, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise. "Ha,ha! I'm the man from the bus!" "Ha,ha!" Says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

No problem. Will do jokes in text form from now on. 👍