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Everything posted by Lumpy123
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Anonymity breeds trolls due to the lack of consequence. Because of trolls...anonymity is best. (Yin/Yang) You never know when one of these dedicated looneys might show up on your doorstep. I only recently revealed my true City and State in order to try and stimulate some cultural conversation. Other than that I did not even use my common forum name because it is so unique that it could easily be tracked back to my real identity. And if there is one thing that American's have been trained religiously to protect....it is your identity. Am I right fellas?
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Ever play telegraph as a kid? You know that game where you have a line of people...and it starts on one end...where somebody wispers a message in your ear...they are not allowed to repeat it...and then in turn they tell the next person what they thought they heard...and by the end of the line the message is nothing like the original message at all? It's kind of like that...without any fact checking involved...the message distorts more as it propogates. It's nice when the facts can be set straight.
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Most here...including myself have no clue what is actually going on inside your Apt other than what you tell us...simply because we do not understand what is being said. We can only guess from body language and actions and make assumptions based on our own experiences. For that you must consider giving our speculation some consideration...however it is not mean't to be disrespectful by most...(trolls aside) and for some, comes out of genuine concern for yours and Paul's happiness.
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Oh...and accept that sometimes your partner is allowed to be selfish...it's why I get to play poker so often when she does not even play...and why I go to chick flicks with her, the Nutcracker and Cats...and many other things I thought I would not care about (they did not turn out to be all that bad).
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I have wondered if Paul reads these forums as well. If he did...he might find little positive in it. We are all big fans of Leora...and love to lavish her with praise...but mostly what I see for Paul is criticism. And so in that respect...I have wondered if that could possibly be a source of conflict for them.
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In terms of fighting in relationships...after 26+ years of marriage...we have never fought...and the key is avoiding selfishness. To be angry at your life partner...you have to harbor some level of selfishness. If you MUST win the fight you are selfish. If you do something that hurts your partner and don't care...you are selfish. And under no circumstances should you ever desire to put your hands on your partner out of anger. That is just flat unacceptable. I would never do that to my wife...and she would never do that to me. If I ever felt the need to...it would indicate it was time to leave. But I honestly never expect that to happen either. I think men who do that are usually insecure as to their role as a man...and think they are asserting that role by bringing violence. But in reality they are just being giant assholes. Think before you act, consider how it feels to be on the other side of the argument. Discuss it...settle it. Anger never solves anything. The old saying that cooler heads prevail...is a fact.