Nicholas, if it makes you so unhappy why stay and watch. Maybe Voyeur House is more to your style? I hate to see friends here so unhappy, maybe it's time for you to move on. I'm noticing lately since the virus hit us there are newbies here whom will fill up your leaving. I don't want you to leave but you appear so unhappy it's maybe time you took a break or move on. I'm noticing it happens to everyone, it maybe your turn to try something else. Hope you understand I'm coming from a friends point of view not being hateful in anyway.