woodworker Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Tonight the Liar and Chief of my country will be giving a speech about his so called strategy on Issis. I for one won't be watching, as I do not give an ear to a renown liar. He's done nothing but lie since he first put his hand on the Bible and swore to uphold, and to protect, and to defend the constitution of the United States. So just remember this as he tries now to bolster the Democrat party's disparaging poll numbers in his speech. The secret watch word for the day concerning Issis is Patti-Cake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I forced myself to listen to this cliche-ridden pack of lies. I don't a believe a word of it is sincere. And neither do people who have studied history, political, current events, religion or attained an IQ of over 40. Our "partners" are are all going :(, and Putin is . No army should go to war with a political leadership like this, no matter how good it is. This man is an invitation to utter disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 I find it very ironic that the very military that he secretly detest is now being called upon to pull his incompetent ass out of the frying pan. He is a political scoundrel,.. nothing more than that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozi Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Terrorist threat levels The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ... The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies 'just in case'. Canada doesn't have any alert levels. And in the southern hemisphere ... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be al'right,mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. (Sorry, someone had to post it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 I don't even think of France as a country anymore. Just one big pastry shop instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I don't even think of France as a country anymore. Just one big pastry shop instead. That's funny because I'm hearing that France is growing increasingly embarrassed about that Statue of Liberty they gifted you all those years ago! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Do you suggest we send the statue back to them in exchange for the remains of all the US servicemen who are buried there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 If it were up to me I'd chop it up and sell it for scrap. We don't need anymore "Huddled masses" pouring into this country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I prefer this motto: "Bring me men to match my mountains: Bring me men to match my plains: Men with empires in their purpose and new eras in their brains." --Sam Walter Foss (And while you're at it, bring me Nora, Leora, and Diana and a bottle of decent single malt Scotch...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozi Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I thought it had just been modernised in line with current trends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiller.Aquarium Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenKraft Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Oh Frenchy! Don't you love it when they scream? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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