Aussie_oi_oi Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 Joke of the day 😉 Tom Lato was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbour knocking on his door one Friday evening. He Answered The Door With A Big Smile And said how are you this evening, And what's on your mind!!!! She replies, "I'm so horny that I can't stand it." "I want to go out, get drunk and get laid. Are you free tonight?". "Yes!!!!" he replied enthusiastically. "Wonderful," she said. "Would you watch my kids?" 😉 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Joke of the day 😉 Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Joke of the day 😉 A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Joke of the day 😉 An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 Joke of the day 😉 Not to brag, but I can unhook a bra using just a bent paper clip, some WD-40 and my reading glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 Joke of the day. 😉 Lone Ranger's Last Request The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ... "In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days." "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests" "What is your FIRST request???' The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse", "But I will still kill you in two days." "What is your SECOND request???" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents," "But I will still kill you tomorrow." "What is your LAST request ???" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, ...... alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says, "READ MY LIPS!!!!" FOR... THE... LAST... TIME... "BRING POSSE" !!! 😉 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 Joke of the day 😉 An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked "What a shame… the old man is walking and the boy is riding." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later they passed some people who remarked "What a shame.... he makes that little boy walk." So they then decided they'd both walk! Soon they passed some more people who remarked "They're really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride." So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey." The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well... Kiss your ass goodbye! 😉 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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TBG 150 Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 Four men are in a hospital because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations, you're a father of twins." The man says, "That's crazy, because I work for the Minnesota Twins." The nurse says to the second guy, "Congratulations, you're the father of triplets." The man says, "That's also crazy, I work for the 3M Company." The nurse tells the third guy, "Congratulations, you're the father of quadruplets." The man says, "That's also crazy, I work for the four seasons hotel." The last man is freaking out and banging his head against the wall. The nurse asks him, "What's wrong? Trying to get a headache?" He replies, "No, I'm doomed! I work for 7UP." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 Joke of the day 😉 During KC Gio's physical, the doctor asked him about his daily activity level. He replied, "Well, yesterday morning, I waded along the edge of a lake, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake." Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be some outdoorsman!" "No," Gio replied, "I'm just a lousy golfer." 😉 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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