Jonno Posted December 23, 2024 Author Posted December 23, 2024 A woman is like a parachute - can refuse at any time, that's why you need to have a spare one. My wife asked me, "What are the chances I will get accepted into a convent if I lose weight?" I said, "Slim to nun". 2 Quote
Jonno Posted December 23, 2024 Author Posted December 23, 2024 I tried being polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "I'm peeing in here!". Fucking bitch. Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Cause you are annoying and won't shut the fuck up. 2 Quote
Jonno Posted December 23, 2024 Author Posted December 23, 2024 No man has ever won a game of "Notice anything different about me?" Damn girl, are you a newspaper? Because there's a new issue with you every fucking day. 2 Quote
Jonno Posted December 23, 2024 Author Posted December 23, 2024 She's looking for a man to take her breath away. Hopefully gagging counts. Most females don't answer video calls after 9pm because their face has been restored to factory settings. 3 Quote
Jonno Posted January 9, 2025 Author Posted January 9, 2025 Marriage through the ages creates new reflexive responses, for example it was only the other night the wife panted that she was so very hot, so I turned on the air conditioner. My wife left me because of my obsession with pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now. 2 Quote
Jonno Posted January 9, 2025 Author Posted January 9, 2025 Females, repeat after me: "I was wrong and I'm sorry." 😂 2 Quote
Jonno Posted January 11, 2025 Author Posted January 11, 2025 It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. Drink till she's cute, but stop before the wedding. 2 Quote
Jonno Posted January 11, 2025 Author Posted January 11, 2025 If a woman is as cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman. When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned. Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet. 2 Quote
Jonno Posted January 12, 2025 Author Posted January 12, 2025 Don't ever think you're completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example. I just came across my wife's Tinder profile and I'm so angry about her lies. She is not "fun to be around". 3 Quote
Jonno Posted January 15, 2025 Author Posted January 15, 2025 Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she is doing. If it's not Valentine's day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?" 1 1 Quote
Jonno Posted January 15, 2025 Author Posted January 15, 2025 I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single and you don't see them crying about it. 1 Quote
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