OneBeing Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 Wow…that was some talk from Octavia last night. Quite understandable since so much has been going on during the past three days and there is so much to prepare for in the next 10. It's not hard to see why some overwhelming feelings are creeping in, especially when trying to process everything at once…but then that is the key. There are lots of plans, many changes coming and potential challenges ahead which is why it is important to take it one day at a time and within each day do just what is in front of you at the moment and when that is done focus fully on whatever is next instead of thinking about all the things you need to do and everything that might possibly happen all at the same time. The journey of 1000 miles starts with one step so…take one step at a time. Yes, conserving energy will be helpful. Staying up all night partying and doing drugs will obviously be put on hold now and that will help as it is a big part of the current energy depletion. Doing things in a joyful way going forward rather than feeling anxious will also help since a joyful experience seems to take no energy at all whereas anxiety wears you down. Find a way to play and have fun with all the upcoming preparations if you can. Thinking constantly about the past and the future, all the analyzing and reflecting will wear you out as well. As these thoughts and stories arise just remind them…no need for you right now and let them go and put your attention elsewhere…and if the thoughts persist at least end the thinking with “OK, but I don't actually know what will happen” and leave it at that since at least that is true. It's OK to not know and when the future events actually happen you will find that you can deal with them just fine. Having your coach visit the last few days was a really good thing. Not only for you but for everyone in the house. Her advice to you about your family visit and the guy in Turkey is absolutely right on. If three weeks turns out to be too long with your family then you can always just leave early. You are not stuck there so go ahead and change things if you need to. The guy in Turkey might be the guy you are looking for but you don't really know. The guy you are looking for might just be the next guy you meet so best to keep all doors open until you know for sure. Good advice from her. Seeing your family will be great and there will be much to enjoy and it will also be a challenge because any time there is a lot of history between people buttons will be pushed on both sides, especially during a three week visit. The truth is no one is really to blame as emotional reactions that spontaneously pop up come from old patterns programmed deep inside that are often no longer true but are still challenging and will take patience and understanding to work through. Then on top of that there is the translation issue which must take a lot of effort. See if you can find a fun way to deal with it. The Google Translate app works fairly well Russian to English (and the other way around) and it can translate a conversation as it happens (sort of, more or less) and may be worth a try. It might be good for some laughs as well. Maybe your ex could do it by himself without your help which could make a difference. (But take the car and go to the forest anyway🌳). Yes, you have changed since you last saw your family and it will be interesting to see how this goes over at home but no need to force anything or try and make them see certain things differently. Just naturally and honestly be who you are right now (which is your strength) and just see what happens and go from there. Hopefully the love that is still there will lead to understanding as well. You met a guy from Turkey at a festival where everyone was open and free and having a great time. Very nice but not exactly like everyday life. You were around him for three days and have now talked and texted a bit and this has led to you thinking about him being your next husband and possibly living in Istanbul…a city and culture you don't even know. This is clearly a dream that is pretty far from reality at this point. You are even wondering if the fire is already starting to go out. Maybe the fire will burn again when (and if) you see him next, maybe it won't, but there is no reason why you should not continue to meet others and be open to whatever happens instead of holding off because of preconceived ideas about the Turkish guy, as nice as he may appear to be. Instead of creating a fantasy world wait and see what reality has in store for you. It could be way different and possibly even better than you “think”. There is so much more I'd like to say but I feel that I'm really pushing the limits here so I will wait for a future conversation if there is one. If not, I know that you are quite capable of dealing with anything with the possible exception of the depth of emotion and anxiety that come up when you get lost in the stories of the past or the fantasies of the future since you can't do anything about either one because the past and future don't exist. The present is where everything happens and when it does you will do just fine. 2 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcbrol Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 32 minutes ago, OneBeing said: Wow…that was some talk from Octavia last night. Quite understandable since so much has been going on during the past three days and there is so much to prepare for in the next 10. It's not hard to see why some overwhelming feelings are creeping in, especially when trying to process everything at once…but then that is the key. There are lots of plans, many changes coming and potential challenges ahead which is why it is important to take it one day at a time and within each day do just what is in front of you at the moment and when that is done focus fully on whatever is next instead of thinking about all the things you need to do and everything that might possibly happen all at the same time. The journey of 1000 miles starts with one step so…take one step at a time. Yes, conserving energy will be helpful. Staying up all night partying and doing drugs will obviously be put on hold now and that will help as it is a big part of the current energy depletion. Doing things in a joyful way going forward rather than feeling anxious will also help since a joyful experience seems to take no energy at all whereas anxiety wears you down. Find a way to play and have fun with all the upcoming preparations if you can. Thinking constantly about the past and the future, all the analyzing and reflecting will wear you out as well. As these thoughts and stories arise just remind them…no need for you right now and let them go and put your attention elsewhere…and if the thoughts persist at least end the thinking with “OK, but I don't actually know what will happen” and leave it at that since at least that is true. It's OK to not know and when the future events actually happen you will find that you can deal with them just fine. Having your coach visit the last few days was a really good thing. Not only for you but for everyone in the house. Her advice to you about your family visit and the guy in Turkey is absolutely right on. If three weeks turns out to be too long with your family then you can always just leave early. You are not stuck there so go ahead and change things if you need to. The guy in Turkey might be the guy you are looking for but you don't really know. The guy you are looking for might just be the next guy you meet so best to keep all doors open until you know for sure. Good advice from her. Seeing your family will be great and there will be much to enjoy and it will also be a challenge because any time there is a lot of history between people buttons will be pushed on both sides, especially during a three week visit. The truth is no one is really to blame as emotional reactions that spontaneously pop up come from old patterns programmed deep inside that are often no longer true but are still challenging and will take patience and understanding to work through. Then on top of that there is the translation issue which must take a lot of effort. See if you can find a fun way to deal with it. The Google Translate app works fairly well Russian to English (and the other way around) and it can translate a conversation as it happens (sort of, more or less) and may be worth a try. It might be good for some laughs as well. Maybe your ex could do it by himself without your help which could make a difference. (But take the car and go to the forest anyway🌳). Yes, you have changed since you last saw your family and it will be interesting to see how this goes over at home but no need to force anything or try and make them see certain things differently. Just naturally and honestly be who you are right now (which is your strength) and just see what happens and go from there. Hopefully the love that is still there will lead to understanding as well. You met a guy from Turkey at a festival where everyone was open and free and having a great time. Very nice but not exactly like everyday life. You were around him for three days and have now talked and texted a bit and this has led to you thinking about him being your next husband and possibly living in Istanbul…a city and culture you don't even know. This is clearly a dream that is pretty far from reality at this point. You are even wondering if the fire is already starting to go out. Maybe the fire will burn again when (and if) you see him next, maybe it won't, but there is no reason why you should not continue to meet others and be open to whatever happens instead of holding off because of preconceived ideas about the Turkish guy, as nice as he may appear to be. Instead of creating a fantasy world wait and see what reality has in store for you. It could be way different and possibly even better than you “think”. There is so much more I'd like to say but I feel that I'm really pushing the limits here so I will wait for a future conversation if there is one. If not, I know that you are quite capable of dealing with anything with the possible exception of the depth of emotion and anxiety that come up when you get lost in the stories of the past or the fantasies of the future since you can't do anything about either one because the past and future don't exist. The present is where everything happens and when it does you will do just fine. I guess Octavia is an introverted person, and even if she is a very social person, having a lot of social activities cost a lot of energy for an introvert. If I'm correct she needs to plan enough alone time to recharge. And yes for example go to the forest 😉. When in a group, Octavia seems to prefer one on one discussions, and have deeper conversations. Brooke seems to be an extroverted person, and gets energy from social interactions, and loves to be central in a group. But I might be wrong. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melle2 Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 1 hour ago, OneBeing said: Wow…that was some talk from Octavia last night. Quite understandable since so much has been going on during the past three days and there is so much to prepare for in the next 10. It's not hard to see why some overwhelming feelings are creeping in, especially when trying to process everything at once…but then that is the key. There are lots of plans, many changes coming and potential challenges ahead which is why it is important to take it one day at a time and within each day do just what is in front of you at the moment and when that is done focus fully on whatever is next instead of thinking about all the things you need to do and everything that might possibly happen all at the same time. The journey of 1000 miles starts with one step so…take one step at a time. Yes, conserving energy will be helpful. Staying up all night partying and doing drugs will obviously be put on hold now and that will help as it is a big part of the current energy depletion. Doing things in a joyful way going forward rather than feeling anxious will also help since a joyful experience seems to take no energy at all whereas anxiety wears you down. Find a way to play and have fun with all the upcoming preparations if you can. Thinking constantly about the past and the future, all the analyzing and reflecting will wear you out as well. As these thoughts and stories arise just remind them…no need for you right now and let them go and put your attention elsewhere…and if the thoughts persist at least end the thinking with “OK, but I don't actually know what will happen” and leave it at that since at least that is true. It's OK to not know and when the future events actually happen you will find that you can deal with them just fine. Having your coach visit the last few days was a really good thing. Not only for you but for everyone in the house. Her advice to you about your family visit and the guy in Turkey is absolutely right on. If three weeks turns out to be too long with your family then you can always just leave early. You are not stuck there so go ahead and change things if you need to. The guy in Turkey might be the guy you are looking for but you don't really know. The guy you are looking for might just be the next guy you meet so best to keep all doors open until you know for sure. Good advice from her. Seeing your family will be great and there will be much to enjoy and it will also be a challenge because any time there is a lot of history between people buttons will be pushed on both sides, especially during a three week visit. The truth is no one is really to blame as emotional reactions that spontaneously pop up come from old patterns programmed deep inside that are often no longer true but are still challenging and will take patience and understanding to work through. Then on top of that there is the translation issue which must take a lot of effort. See if you can find a fun way to deal with it. The Google Translate app works fairly well Russian to English (and the other way around) and it can translate a conversation as it happens (sort of, more or less) and may be worth a try. It might be good for some laughs as well. Maybe your ex could do it by himself without your help which could make a difference. (But take the car and go to the forest anyway🌳). Yes, you have changed since you last saw your family and it will be interesting to see how this goes over at home but no need to force anything or try and make them see certain things differently. Just naturally and honestly be who you are right now (which is your strength) and just see what happens and go from there. Hopefully the love that is still there will lead to understanding as well. You met a guy from Turkey at a festival where everyone was open and free and having a great time. Very nice but not exactly like everyday life. You were around him for three days and have now talked and texted a bit and this has led to you thinking about him being your next husband and possibly living in Istanbul…a city and culture you don't even know. This is clearly a dream that is pretty far from reality at this point. You are even wondering if the fire is already starting to go out. Maybe the fire will burn again when (and if) you see him next, maybe it won't, but there is no reason why you should not continue to meet others and be open to whatever happens instead of holding off because of preconceived ideas about the Turkish guy, as nice as he may appear to be. Instead of creating a fantasy world wait and see what reality has in store for you. It could be way different and possibly even better than you “think”. There is so much more I'd like to say but I feel that I'm really pushing the limits here so I will wait for a future conversation if there is one. If not, I know that you are quite capable of dealing with anything with the possible exception of the depth of emotion and anxiety that come up when you get lost in the stories of the past or the fantasies of the future since you can't do anything about either one because the past and future don't exist. The present is where everything happens and when it does you will do just fine. Great post! Thank you for sharing Octavia's words with us. I can also fully support your thoughts on the family and the new boyfriend. I know some of the things mentioned from my own history, as my wife herself has a Slavic past.The first trips to her homeland with me were complicated for everyone. In my case too, no one from the older generation could speak English. My wife tried to translate at the beginning, but when the conversations became more intense, this is not really possible. As a stranger, you feel very strange in such a situation, as the babble of voices around you makes you sink deep into your own thoughts. Luckily I had our dog with me and was able to go for long walks. Perhaps Fer, I think that's her ex's name, should be advised to get another dog quickly. Then you can leave the discussion without the family's disapproval. It was not easy for my wife to explain her relationship with me to the family either. It probably won't be any easier for Octavia either, as I assume that families with a Slavic background react emotionally in a similar way to what we have experienced. I see the relationship with a friend with a Turkish background in a similar way to you, especially since her boyfriend apparently still lives in Turkey. We could be wrong, but a man from Turkey has a completely different background, which doesn't fit in with the free interaction between people in Spanish society compared with Turkish society. Of course it's nice to dream, and we've all experienced here how beautifully Octavia can immerse herself in her dreams and lose herself. We can wish her luck, but she should continue to look for a man from her background. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fugwash Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 Well said, everybody. I just caught up with it myself after being gone for a couple days. It seems to me that she started talking last night because she felt like the forum hadn't been keeping up with everything that's gone on in the last few days -- I myself have only had time to just check in occasionally. I think Octavia knows that even though her life is on display 24/7 we still miss stuff because we only just check in when we can (that's what I do, anyhow). In summer people are outside more, even some of the basement-dwellers in this forum lol, plus also I've noticed that it's been harder to hear Octavia talk the last few weeks and I'm guessing it's because the windows are open wider during the hot Barca summer and there's more street noise. Anyone else have that issue? Maybe I'm just going deaf... Anyway, my two centimes... Octavia, just know you're in a really good place right now and you have a world of choices in front of you. If the thought of moving stresses you, or spending so much time in Belarus worries you, then do what you can to make positive choices to enrich your life in the next two months to counteract that worry. I like much of what your life coach tells you, and one of the things she said is that you can always leave, if being with the family stresses you out, and any time you can spend on more adventures in the next two months is time well spent! You mentioned it was weird thinking of moving to another country when you're in the process of gaining Spanish citizenship -- well, there's no reason you can't just delay the progress on that for a few months. Spain will still be waiting for you if you come back in September. And finally, because it's been a while since I've heard it being talked about, it would be nice if you found some way of connecting with the few good people here such as the persons right above me ^^^ and others who have grown fond of you over the past year. Even if it's just on social media, I feel like you have a few guardian angels here who just want to know you're doing alright. And, I mean, obviously, not everybody here is an angel. There are plenty of devils. 👿👿 Y'all know who you are. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fugwash Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 Waiting for you to reload again so I can say Good Morning! 😃 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fugwash Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 An Army of Angels -- I like it! Your safety and happiness always comes first, of course. That's the most important thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny0692 Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 Harley having a bath in B1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brit Guy Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 Hey Azi, enjoy your trip RLC Replay REPLAY.REALLIFECAM.COM Watch your favorite cams in 24-hour recording Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brit Guy Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 3 hours ago, johnny0692 said: Harley having a bath in B1 Zab washing her gash with water from a saucepan, so the shower must be fucked. RLC Replay REPLAY.REALLIFECAM.COM Watch your favorite cams in 24-hour recording Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noldus Posted July 9 Author Share Posted July 9 2 hours ago, TfiDeano said: Zab washing her gash with water from a saucepan, so the shower must be fucked. RLC Replay REPLAY.REALLIFECAM.COM Watch your favorite cams in 24-hour recording Out of water for some days 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brit Guy Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 1 minute ago, Noldus said: Out of water for some days I see that yes, seems to have happened on or after the 6th. Plus, I saw her washing some kitchen stuff up using cold bottled water which she never even warmed up. With temperatures so high then they should get that fixed quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noldus Posted July 9 Author Share Posted July 9 Zabava in the shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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