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Something that just needs to be said


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Because I myself have been so guilty of harboring such contempt and even loathing towards Paul, I just feel that I now must say these things.

I was wrong to mock him so, though his ways did often irk me so before.  Yet I have come to realize that he does seem to have certain mental problems, and that to expect him to respond or to react in a way that we ourselves might do, is probably more difficult for him.

All I know is that we were not put on this earth to add to someone else's misery.  And that there is no sense of joy that comes from watching someone else suffer within themselves.

And that for all that I had said before, I now do hope that Paul will somehow be happy in life, and if nothing else will not look upon me at some later time as his enemy, nor as his tormentor.

It stuck me hard while I watched him and Leora in that bath tub, and only then did I realize that he may not have the capacity to think or behave more like I suppose we would, and that perhaps it is not all his fault.  And in this I will not add to his hurt or his pain.

I know that we all have our faults,.. And for whatever is troubling him, I now wish him well, as I do with all of you.

Your Friend, If you will have it so.

David

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Guest giuseppe r

Because I myself have been so guilty of harboring such contempt and even loathing towards Paul, I just feel that I now must say these things.

I was wrong to mock him so, though his ways did often irk me so before.  Yet I have come to realize that he does seem to have certain mental problems, and that to expect him to respond or to react in a way that we ourselves might do, is probably more difficult for him.

All I know is that we were not put on this earth to add to someone else's misery.  And that there is no sense of joy that comes from watching someone else suffer within themselves.

And that for all that I had said before, I now do hope that Paul will somehow be happy in life, and if nothing else will not look upon me at some later time as his enemy, nor as his tormentor.

It stuck me hard while I watched him and Leora in that bath tub, and only then did I realize that he may not have the capacity to think or behave more like I suppose we would, and that perhaps it is not all his fault.  And in this I will not add to his hurt or his pain.

I know that we all have our faults,.. And for whatever is troubling him, I now wish him well, as I do with all of you.

Your Friend, If you will have it so.

David

And 'right here lies the problem. Paul does not have the courage to admit his sexual failures. Leora, try to talk to him. Since they have been in this apartment, Leora behaves like a perfect housewife. Leora will also have attitudes in children, but does everything to make Paul happy. Paul is devoid of any initiative. As you said in another topic, he could bring her out for a walk or for an ice cream. Instead he acts like a dog waiting to eat or play with Leora. I'm sorry to say (but not much) that Paul has nothing in his defense. He has everything to lose (Leora) and nothing to gain. I've said since the beginning of their coming in reallifecam. This story has no expectations for long life.

Giuseppe

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I know what you are saying.  And in some ways I'm sure he will again annoy me or worse.  But I saw a side to him today that was very revealing to me.  And I am sure that a lot of what he does that we may consider stupid or clumsy and such is actually due to some form of mental deficiency.

All I'm saying is that I felt sorry for him.

I know that this situation between him and Leora will not last.  And I also know that he will be crushed when that day comes.  And what I saw today, which had nothing to do with his sexual failings, but just with his mental abilities, may be the reason why he is so uncouth or so unsophisticated in his ways, including all those things that did revolt me before.

Again,.. I just felt sorry for him.

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Guest giuseppe r

In my opinion he has no problem with his brain. I think he has problems with dialogue. I do not know what problems he had, what people attended or what kind of life he lived. Seeing how he behaves, I would not stay amazed that at the end of the story with Leora, he would be living under a bridge like a bum.

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For what it's worth.  If I should come to feel that I was mistaken by this truly pathetic sight I saw.  Not just because he sat there so doleful with an absolutely blank look upon his face, but because it made sense to me just then why he seems to do everything so wrong.

Maybe I'm wrong, but he just seemed to be almost in the same state that one might consider as being somewhat retarded.  I'm not trying to be funny, but that's how it struck me.

I felt as if I was poking fun at a somewhat retarded person. 

If I'm wrong, fine, then I'm wrong.  But at the time, I was deeply moved by how incapable he might truly be. 

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I don't know,.. Maybe it was just another one of his dumb founded looks that he's famous for.

Maybe he doesn't suffer from some mental deficiency that would cause someone to take pity on him.  If that's the fucking case, then fine, I was deceived by a look and a gesture of his that was so childlike, so inept, that I was deeply moved.

As we all know, there relationship is bound to end soon.  A not even Kiko on his worse day ever annoyed me to the extent that Paul has.  I would actually shiver when he would kiss Leora.

So if I was wrong,.. If somehow he did fool me for a moment, then fine, fuck him.

And I'm beginning to think that maybe I was wrong to have felt such compassion for him, because one moment he seems completely helpless and childlike, and the next he's acting like he's the lord and manor of the house.

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Guest giuseppe r

And 'so from the beginning. If at least he helped Leora in small household things, he would have a little bit of my sympathy. I think he's a slothful in everything going on around him. This is very dangerous. Once before he disappeared from the apartment for two days, leaving Leora desperate, then he came back because Leora begged him to come back. He takes advantage of Leora love he has for him. I really hope that Leora find a right guy for her, which makes her feel good, giving her all the love and attention it deserves. Unfortunately for Leora, this guy is not Paul....

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Guest kevinbsam7

Could well be on the autism spectrum somewhere. If that's the case he definitely deserves sympathy.

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Guest giuseppe r

Could well be on the autism spectrum somewhere. If that's the case he definitely deserves sympathy.

He seems to have no autistic behaviors. If so, I would be his first supporter. He gives me the impression of being just an opportunist and a phoney.

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Because I myself have been so guilty of harboring such contempt and even loathing towards Paul, I just feel that I now must say these things.

I was wrong to mock him so, though his ways did often irk me so before.  Yet I have come to realize that he does seem to have certain mental problems, and that to expect him to respond or to react in a way that we ourselves might do, is probably more difficult for him.

All I know is that we were not put on this earth to add to someone else's misery.  And that there is no sense of joy that comes from watching someone else suffer within themselves.

And that for all that I had said before, I now do hope that Paul will somehow be happy in life, and if nothing else will not look upon me at some later time as his enemy, nor as his tormentor.

It stuck me hard while I watched him and Leora in that bath tub, and only then did I realize that he may not have the capacity to think or behave more like I suppose we would, and that perhaps it is not all his fault.  And in this I will not add to his hurt or his pain.

I know that we all have our faults,.. And for whatever is troubling him, I now wish him well, as I do with all of you.

Your Friend, If you will have it so.

David

Totally agree and a good point. Without ever having a word with him and because most of us do not speak his language, we do not know exactly what his problem is or their problems are. I think that  they should discuss their problems and seek an expert for help, that's for sure.

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To be fair about it, there is a lot of what Fabulous says that is true.

So I'm not entirely sure if I wasn't somehow deceived by that strang moment when they both were in the bath tub.

He didn't seem to really know where he was in some respects.  Not trying to play doctor, but you couldn't miss both that vacant look and that very juvenile or childish manner in which he was just touching the bath water.  Not something denoted of an adult.

But then, sometimes he makes me wonder if this pity is unfounded in the way he almost seems to display a sort of 'I'm entitled attitude'.  So, perhaps Fabulous is right, and my moment of compassion was misplaced.  I just don't know yet.

One things for sure, this thing between him and Leora is bound to end soon.  And while she herself is very immature, she sure doesn't need another person who is in many ways irresponsible and childlike.

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