THANK YOU VAN for responding and i posted those word's because i KNEW you was in pain also.we have to be strong to survive such pain, trust and believe in GOD for he knows best, we may not always understand it but life itself can be cruel and painful even without death.i think we all have a purpose here on earth,i believe mine was with the Fire and Rescue. i spent 25 years as a volunteer to try to help just make a small difference in life for all people.
i ran a call where a woman was unresponsive,we did CPR on her all the way to the hospital and even worked on her in the trauma room for about 30 minutes.there was about 10 people working on her,but sadly she didn't make it.i don't know why but that one bothered me real bad.the hospital Chaplan came to talk to me and asked me what was wrong.i told him i could not save her life.
HE said i was not in the business to save lives :o , i looked at him like he was crazy and i ask him then why the heck did i go to school all those hours and do all that training for, just to have something to do?
He smiled at me ,then he told me something that i had not thought about it that way.he said you spent all those hours in school studying and training to Prolong lives not save them. there was a particular squad that had life saving crew in its name,he said they should change their name,just like you they Prolong lives if they can,then he said you can prolong lives Thru God,but only he can Save them.then i knew he was right and i had a different perspective on it.thats how i believe that seeing all the death i have seen helped with my own personal losses.Again i am truly Sorry for your loss,and always trust and believe in God.
Sorry for the long post.