What i was trying to explain to you is that these professional psychologist, therapist etc. , would find You a better subject matter than anyone on VH. You have been a high paying member for almost 3 years now , so you're trying to tell us that you pay to see how far she will go instead of watching her fuck? You pay to see her, not the other way around. So based on that fact alone, i'd say your emotional issues are greater than her's.
It seems that you're obsessed to the point of jealousy when it comes to her? Im not attempting to tell you how to enjoy your subscription , but I might suggest that you take all that money to consult one of those learned professionals you mentioned. She will most probably be gone from VH in next few years and based on your record you will still be paying to satisfy your curiosity. In reality don't you get more pleasure from watching her than studying her? You can tell us the truth... My truth is that i'm a voyeur and that is why I'm on this site...