What Are The 7 Stages of Grief?
Here is the grief model we call the 7 Stages of Grief:
1. Shock & Denial
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. The shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
This type of grief is probably one of the biggest and most important stages that people go through once they start processing through the stages of grief after suicide.
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief:
Mourning
Sadness
Confusion
Discomfort
2. Pain & Guilt
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
Out of all the stages of grief after an affair, this is the one that might be most prevalent because realization sets in that their choice was something that could have been prevented and stopped and that this suffering and pain were preventable.
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief:
Sadness
Guilt
Desperation
Betrayed
3. Anger & Bargaining
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is not a time for the release of bottled-up emotion. You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair: “I will never drink again if you just bring him back”!
Depending on if you’re ready for grief counseling, this is a step that it might be a good choice to look into.
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief:
Anger
Resentment
Bargaining
Stubbornness
4. “Depression”, Reflection, Loneliness
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief:
Depression
Heavy
Crushed
Frustrated
5. The Upward Turn
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
This is the part of the grieving process that you’ll start to see the light a bit at the end of the tunnel. It’s a middle ground of all the grief symptoms that you’ll go through but it’s one that you can build upon.
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief:
Strengthened
Motivated
Awakened
6. Reconstruction & Working Through
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
Examples of emotions during this stage of grief:
Inspired
Determined
Refreshed
7. Acceptance & Hope
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness.
Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward. You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future.
Nana's body language is interesting
