One Liners

[Alexandria]

I  just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy. 

[TBG 150]

  On 10/14/2024 at 5:00 PM, Alexandria said:

I  just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy. 

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That's just mean!

[Alexandria]

  On 10/14/2024 at 6:24 PM, TBG 150 said:

That's just mean!

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But fun too 🙂

[Jonno]

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

 

My daughter asked me how stars die. "Usually an overdose,"  I told her.

 

 

[Jonno]

First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation.

Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport?

First woman: Oh, no. I've known him for years!

[Jonno]

Never underestimate a woman's ability to make anything your fault.

 

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

[Alexandria]

Two secrets to keep your marriage happy.

1. Whenever you are wrong, admit it.

2. Whenever you are right, shut up. lol

[Alexandria]

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The love of your life!

Liar, you know chocolate can't speak. 

[Jonno]

  On 10/27/2024 at 12:35 PM, Alexandria said:

Two secrets to keep your marriage happy.

1. Whenever you are wrong, admit it.

2. Whenever you are right, shut up. lol

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Fuck that. 🤣

[Jonno]

What should you do if you see your ex wife rolling around in pain on the ground? Shoot her again. 

 

I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they would come and get her.

[Jonno]

What did Spartacus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife? Nothing, he's gladiator.

 

I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren't allowed to talk about what they did at work all day. 

[Jonno]

The new iPhone has facial recognition. Some of you ladies are gonna be locked out after you wash your face off.

 

It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.