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The Night of the Elephants


woodworker
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Maybe you'll get a kick out of this, or maybe you won't.   But at least you'll know that in the wilds of down town Detroit, I wasn't lying to you about this near death experience.   Anything that has to do with myself, whether humorous or not, is completely true. 

                                                                           

It goes like this,.. 

Danny wanted me to meet this guy, Dennis Manning.   So after Danny told Dennis that I would be coming by the next night, I went knocking on his door.

He was cordial, and had a friend with him at the time.   We then went down to his basement and shot a little pool.

Wasn't much talking on my part, as I was a very quiet back in those days, and was there more to get a measure of this guy than anything else.  

So, after a while we three got into my new, black, 1969 Pontiac Grand Prix, and headed off towards down town.

Dennis pulled out a joint, and it got passed around.   To me it didn't seem to be all that strong at the time, but maybe I misjudge it at that moment.  Anyway, as we got closer to the waterfront near Cobo Hall, Dennis said rather calmly,.. "Hey man, watch out for the elephants."

Without moving my head I turned my eyes towards him, thinking to myself,.. 'This shit isn't that good, just what kind of corn ball do I have here?'

Then, while still moving a little further on he said,.."I'm telling you man,.. watch out for the elephants."   

I was starting to get really pissed off within me, both at Danny for recommending this jerk to me, and towards this guy both.

Then Dennis suddenly threw his right hand up on the dash board, as he shifted his body towards me and shouted out,.. "WATCH OUT FOR THE FUCKING ELEPHANTS!"

I was furious and slammed on the breaks, and was about to rip his fucking heart out, when I saw before me not more than twenty feet away all these elephants.   My head must have been in the clouds, because if he hadn't have shouted at me, I am quite convinced that I would have probably crippled one of the elephants that night, and that would have no doubt prompted an angry retaliation from the others afterwards.

Honestly,..  Hard to explain the look in that elephants eye towards me.   It was aimed right at me and was filled with a mixture of bewilderment and promulgating rage.  

It kind of reminded me of that same look that Moby Dick gave captain Ahab in that movie when it turned it's eye right at him.

Anyway,..    

What had happened was the circus had just let out, and they were leading the animals down the street and back on board a ship to head back to France.

Well, naturally I got out of the car to watch this thing.   We all did.  

There was a whole string of elephants, not more than maybe twenty feet away, with these painted stars and things around their eyes, and at the very end was this adorable baby elephant that was holding onto it's mother's tail.  Very cute. 

All of this on a darken street in down town Detroit.   

I then meandered across the street to the other side to get a better look from a different angle, and had not been aware of this transport cage which contained a lion in it.   My back was not more than a foot away from it when it let out a loud roar!  

I mean, it was a full blown roar and quite startled me, as I found my knife then in my hand and was then trying to reach into this cage to stab this mother fucker with, while at the same time making my displeasure known towards this thing.  

I know that's hard for some here to believe, but tough, it is the fucking truth.   To me, there was only one king in that fucking jungle, and as far as I was concerned, it wasn't him!   And besides, I don't like being startled, or bark at, or roared at, by anyone!

But after about a minute or so, I started to cool off, as I heard Dennis say in a muffled voice about fifteen feet away.   "Jesus!"

We then walked further on and went inside Cobo Hall and watch some of the performers while they were still practicing their acts.   

Dennis headed straight off to talk to this leggy high wire woman who pretended not to speak any English.  While I had a little contest with the knife thrower there.  

I pulled out my high quality Italian made stiletto, which he looked over for a while.   And then I pointed at the painted star on this wooden thing that I guess some of the animals would use to posture and pose upon.   And yes, I beat him that night, which brought a snarl upon Pierre's lips.   

Anyway, that's my little Mutual of Omaha moment.   Nothing really major about it all.   Except that I wanted my friend Foamy to realize that his friend might be a little bit out there at times, but he isn't a fucking liar.   

A little post script:  

At the rate of speed that I was driving, had I actually collided with one of those elephants, it would have most likely have broken it's leg, which would have then caused it to roll over and crush the front end of my car, leaving me with no other way to exit, then by heel and toe express.

No doubt the others would have chased after us, and it would have made for a strange ending for one with an already unorthodox past.  

 

  

African_Bush_Elephant.jpg

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It's all true, as funny as it must have seemed at the moment.     And even as I was yelling and cursing at that lion, I could see that shadowy beast then huddled about in the Northwest corner of it's cage, and it never so much as let out another peep after it's first initial roar at me.  

Honestly, I wanted so much to hammer the point of my knife into it's hide, and somehow, I think that he decided that he didn't want to mess around with this guy on that particular night after all.  

The elephants on the other hand, had I not managed to stop in time,.. Well, that would have presented a whole different sort of problem for me.  :huh:

 

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18 minutes ago, woodworker said:

It's all true, as funny as it must have seemed at the moment.     And even as I was yelling and cursing at that lion, I could see that shadowy beast then huddled about in the Northwest corner of it's cage, and it never so much as let out another peep after it's first initial roar at me.  

Honestly, I wanted so much to hammer the point of my knife into it's hide, and somehow, I think that he decided that he didn't want to mess around with this cat on that particular night after all.  

The elephants on the other hand, had I not managed to stop in time,.. Well, that would have presented a whole different sort of problem for me.  :huh:

Yeah if you would have hit one of those elephants there ain't no telling what would have happened!   I know your a bad cat WW but if that lion would have gotten out of that cage, your momma would have been cleaning shit out of your pants for a week LMAO.

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