Slender Man

I got a phonecall from a gorgeous ex girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you these days! I'm a bit older and bit balder than you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I would meet the challenge! "Yeah, go on then. Just as long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She again giggled and told me to stop being silly! Teased me saying that she thought tubby men were cute! "Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" She giggled. So I told her to fuck off.

Would have learned all that sort of stuff when he done his courses. Same courses that obviously taught him to hit pipes with a hammer and bend them n place. LOL

What about long, hard but slightly crooked. LOL

Hi Ash. No pic of him nude in any I have found. Must be shy. LOL. Will this do. LOL

There was a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?". The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. Goes over and asks him, "What is a penis?". The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis!" The boy leaves to go and find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl once again asks if he knows what a penis is. He whips his out and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"