Alexandria

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. "As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "We decided to cook our own breakfast." 😂

Q. Why are most men like diapers? A. They are usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.

Q. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? A. Condoms have evolved. They are not so thick and insensitive anymore.

Q. Why did God invent the yeast infection? A. So your girlfriend knows what it's like to live with an irritating cunt. 😂

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, had a great enormous cock. All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock. All of the female reindeers had pussies that were just too small. Poor old well hung Rudolph, could not get any sex at all. Then one horny Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong..... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, a few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay." 😂

What's the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?

When he gets a sweater, but he's hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... 

Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left. 😂

On 12/24/2020 at 4:04 PM, ashleyxyz said:

Thank You Alexandria!! I'm hoping my Guy pops the question this Wkd. Hope I'm not disappointed. I won't ruin my Christmas. But would so exciting if he does. I gotta start pumping out childen, the clock is running!!! I wish you a safe. Wonderful and peaceful Christmas to you and your loved ones!!!

Thanks Ashley. Hope you get what you want before the year ends. Would be a nice start to a new and hopefully better year. Enjoy today. 🍷🍷

Happy birthday @ashleyxyz. 30s are not so bad haha. Merry Christmas when it comes. 🍾🍷

8 hours ago, Slender Man said:

Very hot in that outfit. Yummy 

4 minutes ago, Robwin said:

Bet he ain't seen his dick in years 

He could well be the one that saves this failure haha. 

10 minutes ago, waldi said:

That bloke gonna be the best😁

Big belly and Moobs. Yummy haha 

1 minute ago, ashleyxyz said:

Oh sure, my mouth is watering looking at this bunch! 🙄

We are both missing out not being there haha. 

So many sexy guys in one place at the same time haha. 

On 12/1/2020 at 7:51 PM, Slender Man said:

Very sexy. 

On 11/29/2020 at 8:39 PM, Slender Man said:

Looks better without the bush. 

2 minutes ago, Robwin said:

Let us know how it goes Alex  In great detail 

Will give it a go and let you know haha. 

On 11/28/2020 at 12:27 PM, Slender Man said:

Never thought of doing that. Have to give it a try ☺

Pat on the back if he does. Her and Mira would be hot. 

55 minutes ago, Just In said:

Visitors, I wonder if Henry can use the force and touch her.

She is hot. That her partner? 

3 hours ago, Parxx said:

Some progress at last. He moved to shorts last night. A few more years and he should be good to go.

Will not be online long enough to see that then. If smart won't put up with it much longer either. Get it in or get out haha. 

3rd visit without him, but nothing on last two visits. 

14 hours ago, Slender Man said:

Aww poor little thing haha. 

A New Hope actually haha. 

Over the top at times, but does look on ocassions that she does orgasm. Very rare to see. 

Does she ever show any sign of orgasm? Very rarely do you see it from any female. 

Gretta very close today haha. 

2 hours ago, ashleyxyz said:

Hey Budda, how's everything?  I cant stand the Cowboys, or Cowgirls as I call them. I'd give My Guy a blow job just to turn the TV off!!  I don't think there anything to unusual here. He looks super tired and she gave him a nice quick blow job,  and he'll sleep like a baby all night now. Guy and I sometimes just get one or the other before we go to sleep. Thats usually him since after he gave me oral, he's gonna get a return on his investment whether he wants it or not!

69 before bed and everyone is happy haha.