toolmaker123

Did she have batteries in the banana?

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

The cliche' is there are 3 RULES to a woman: RULE #1 The woman is always right RULE #2 The woman might be wrong RULE #3 If the woman is ever wrong, refer to RULE #1 Also, a woman always has the last word in an argument. IF the male speaks any words after, it is the beginning of another argument.

Hard UP; she totally lacks any self esteem. She obviously settles for whatever she can get. A life-less, love-less computer nerd. He will keep her in fine clothes, jewelry and probably fine cars and houses; BUT when the smoke clears she will wonder, "where is the love". It doesn't appear there is a whole lotta love with the Ukrainians. Settle for the first lunker Head that comes along.

naked smoke break

American women eat chocolates for depression; Russian women eat lettuce; that'd depress me even more

All gone

My ex and I traveled by bus across country and watched a girl sit in her seat for hours cinching her legs; my wife asked her if she felt 'good' and she smiled at us, then she said , "marvelous'. WE immediately knew what she was doin. She continued to orgasm for a very long time after, not caring that anyone knew.

Gone to pick up ELUSHA's b/f; gonna se some real fuckin in the apartment now

AA Meeting

It's called 'grool'

this is your brain before drugs O; this is your after .

OR Not smokin at Vika's crack will do to ya....

Really? How much class can she have, much less self esteem, to display herself on a public voyeur website? Would you allow/like for your wife, daughter or even your mother to take such a position ? How would you eliminate the damages done by the nudity, self exploitation? These photos and videos will be able to be found for many years after they leave the project. Would you want your family members exposed to the world forever?

She can't dance well enough to be a real stripper in a club; she wouldn't make much in tips. Besides, she can't dance and drink like she does for any clubs.

IF they were for her b/f, the whole world has them now; nothing personal about what she did. I Guess we are the 'male sluts"

Her daddy must be so proud!!

YEP, looks like BB's in a duffel bag.

Yeah, they have to go all the way to IKEA to replace the fine quality furniture

Kiko came to use free internet, eat free food, drain his lizard and sleep.

Brad, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make progress with any of the girls, so he heads over to the guard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him. "Dude, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing those baggy swim trunks that make you look like an old geezer. Grab yourself a pair of speedos, about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato inside. I'm telling you, you'll have all the babes you want!" The following weekend, Brad hits the beach with his new Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and it's even worse than before. Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick. So, Brad goes back to the life-guard again and ask him: "What's wrong now?" "Dude!" says the lifeguard: "The potato goes at the front!"

UG, you make with good joke, kemosabi.

Yeah and 10 minutes after he departs she's all sunshine and rainbows.........maybe she put a pair of her soiled panties in his backpack for him and his army buddies to sniff

The orange shirt is so his guys can see him; the camo pants so the enemy can't see him and the purple sox; just cause he has purple sox; doofus's wear mismatched sox

Someone really needs a Xanax it seems; Wrong elements for a forum!