Harley, that is a good post. You opened up yourself. As one who also does that, I appreciate the honesty. Now I see something of the old you before all the frustration built up. One can only be true to themself if they remember and know who they were and why they changed.
All you need now pal is some faith, some hope. I myself have also questioned my faith in things and myself at times and my hope for the future.
If you restore some faith in things you will lose the frustration you have in spades. A wise person once told me you need a little denial for yourself, some suspension of logic to allow for faith and hope to happen. Try it a little. Ignore your logic for a while and believe in something, anything. You will then lose some of your anger, your frustration.
Some people think I am crazy when I talk to you. They say there is no hope, why try. But I believe there is redeeming value to every human being. You just have to dig it out.
So keep your beliefs. But try a little denial and some hope, it may just help you.
Good luck.