That's the saddest thing I've read all year. In fact, all decade. Have you ever considered your time spent on this website (and related websites) might be problematic?
I do the same when I am bored in general. It's funny to see people (usually 50 year old french married men) genuinely calling some Russian girl they will never meet a Goddess and seethe angrily when her boyfriend doesn't last long or put out very much.