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US General Domestic Politics #3 Begins 01/25/21.


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From the Desk of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing
To: Donald J. Trump, the Abominable Showman

Dear Asshat,

Holy fucknuts, I’m tired. Of you. Of your criminal shit-lagoon of an administration. Of the whole fucking thing. When all this started three years ago I had to choose between moving on with my life or turning on my parents’ ’70s fondue pot, filling it with soft solder and Velveeta, switching it to “magma,” and beer-bonging the lot with “DO NOT RESUSCITATE” tattooed in filigree font to my nipples, scrote, and taint.

I think I made the right choice, but ask me again in November.

The stupidity, the evil, the rancor, the recrimination, the boundless buffoonery, the vertiginous incompetence, the brazen dishonesty. My head is swimming — and, unfortunately, not in rum. Yet.

I understand quantum physics about as well as you understand spray-tanning and personal hygiene, but I am intrigued by one classic interpretation of quantum mechanics that posits numerous alternative worlds existing in parallel. A paper from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy sums it up succinctly:

“In particular, every time a quantum experiment with different possible outcomes is performed, all outcomes are obtained, each in a different world, even if we are only aware of the world with the outcome we have seen. In fact, quantum experiments take place everywhere and very often, not just in physics laboratories: even the irregular blinking of an old fluorescent bulb is a quantum experiment.”

Like I said, I don’t really understand this stuff, and I don’t pretend to, because I’m not a fucking psychopath like you. But the gist is that there could be trillions upon trillions of parallel universes in which different — and, in some cases, radically different — outcomes are obtained.

So given a nearly infinite number of worlds — each splitting off whenever a quantum experiment is performed — it’s inevitable that you would become president in at least one of them. And I’m unlucky enough to have branched off with you into this cosmic ox turd of a world instead of, say, the world where Marv Albert got drunk at the Vegas ESPN Zone and bit my testicles off in the parking lot of a Long John Silver’s — before inevitably becoming the Republican nominee for president of the United States.

So here we are again. We’re now four books into our shared adventure. You’ve learned diddly-fucking-squat, and I’ve learned that, while making money off your dumb ass is at best bittersweet, I could have surely made more selling my tell-all Marv Albert ball-biting book in my other, preferred universe.

But we play with the cards we’re dealt, don’t we?

So strap in, nut butler. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Love,
Pennyfarthing


Pennyfarthing, Aldous J.. Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump (101 Rude Letters to Donald Trump Book 4) (p. 6). Kindle Edition.

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12 hours ago, Ridgerunner said:

The America destroying far left policies of Biden and the Democrats will create more and more Trump supporters.:cool:

wrong again. there will be fewer trump supporters but they will be more brainwashed & more stupid, hateful, & violent.

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10 hours ago, Ridgerunner said:

And whose support is he losing?

read some actual news. or keep listening to trump's ass news. you know, the news that reports about how he won the election in a landslide, covid is just like the flu & will vanish like a miracle, he's been tough on russia, he built the greatest economy in history, everyone else is a liar but not him, ................................................ you know. the only news that you always listen to.

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10 hours ago, Thestarider said:

Welcome to the new world order !!!

Image may contain: 1 person, closeup

One of Joe's Executive Orders...
This is Craig Telfer. He ranked 200th in Men's Hurdles in 2016, ranked 390th in 2017.
He changed his name to "CeCe" in 2018 & said he's a 'woman' now. He won the Championship, finishing 1st in Womens Hurdles in 2019.
RIP Women's Sports

gay, minorities, women, immigrants, muslims; i had forgotten how much you guys also hate the trans community. is there anyone else that you would like to discriminate against?  

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10 hours ago, StarLight28 said:

Is democracy and free expression of opinion a foreign word for you? Or only applies to you and your stupid Trump henchmen?

the republicans definition of freedom is to tell you that you are free while not letting you do anything. as if that would actually work. oh that's right. it worked on ridge & 74,000,000 others.

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10 hours ago, Ridgerunner said:

So now anyone who voted for Trump is a criminal who needs to be executed?  Appears you learned well from Adolf, Mao and Stalin.

deprogramming will be tried 1st. but since you are against that the cell next to agent orange will suffice.

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