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The Parking Ticket


Nick
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 My wife and I went into   town and visited a shop.  When we came out, there was a cop writing out a   parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "come on man, how about giving a  senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an  "asshole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having   worn-out tires. So Shirley (my wife) called him a "shithead." He finished the second ticket and  put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more   tickets.This  went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he   wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked   away.  Just  then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.We always look for cars with Hillary 2016 bumper stickers.We   try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It’s so important at    our age!!

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Probably the funniest thing I've ever said to a cop when he was writing me a speeding ticket was,.. "Make it quick, I'm in a hurry."

That was a long, long time ago, and I wasn't in a very good mood at the time.     After I signed the fucking thing, he then just flung the ticket through my open window and walked on back to his car.    I've changed a lot since then.   

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4 minutes ago, woodworker said:

Probably the funniest thing I've ever said to a cop when he was writing me a speeding ticket was,.. "Make it quick, I'm in a hurry."

That was a long, long time ago, and I wasn't in a very good mood at the time.     After I signed the fucking thing, he then just flung the ticket through my open window and walked on back to his car.    I've changed a lot since then.   

LMAO you lucky he didn't took his time , I did that to once driving 90 mph from SF to LA I told him some kind of excuse he kept me 45min  LOL 

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Oh there was this one other time when after the cop asked me for my license and registration, I pulled out a fifty dollar bill instead.  He didn't take kindly to that, and repeated to me in a gruff manner,.. "I asked you for your license and registration!"  

I then half laughed and said,.. "Oops, sorry."   And did my best not to piss him off again.    

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Boy, I almost hate to tell you this.   But back in my hoodlum days I was with this guy Dennis Manning one winters night, and he knew a lot of girls who would hang out at the Big Boys outdoor restaurant, which was kind of like a Sonic but on a grander scale.

Well, he wanted me to pull up to this certain car with these girls that he knew.   But this cop stood right in front of my car and tried to stop me.  He even reverted to hitting my car with this flashlight that he was wielding.

That caused me to jump out, and whip out a switch blade that I had at the time, as I was yelling at him.   Dennis then screamed out my name, knowing that I was giving him a perfect chance to shoot me down.   So I jumped back into my car and whipped it around and then gunned it hard which then kicked up a bunch of snow and slush right into this cops face.   And when we pulled out of there, every car parked there was honking their horns, and no doubt laughing, just as Dennis was at the time.

I was eighteen years old at the time.   

Honestly,.. I've changed quite a bit from those once volatile days. 

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Good stories guys!!

One of my cop stories involved a tap tap tap on my window one blustery 1am morning.  I had been working allot at the time of said incident and this all started on a Saturday night after work where I went to a good friend of mines house to watch Saturday Night Live, meet a girl that he wanted me to meet, and drink some cold German soda water.

Everything was great and it was some laughter and relaxation that I truly needed.  On my travels home at some time around one o'clock in the morning I pulled up to the last red light before getting to my apartment and had that light been green instead of red, I would not be telling this story now lol.   The tap tap tap was his flashlight as I had fallen asleep at the red light with my foot on the brake due to being tired, warm, and tipsy.  I was stunned when the tapping finally brought me back to life and looked to my left to see a cop telling me to roll down my window.  The first thought that came to me was "Awe Shit"!  I rolled down the window and the first thing that was said from him to me was....have you been drinking son?  I quickly replied with, no sir I haven't and told him that I had been working allot (which was true) and that I was dead dog tired.  He then asked me if he needed to give me a ride home the rest of the way, in which I replied that I would be fine as I was only a few blocks from my apartment.  He then said, well I'll tell you what, why don't I just follow you home to make sure you get there safely lol.  I dodged a bullet that night!

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It sounds like he was a nice guy.  

You know when I was young and used to go to Lovers Lane with some such girl or another.  The cops would always come along and go from car to car shinning their flash lights through the windows, and just nosing around.   Well, after they finally made their way on to my car and shined their damn lights into my face, I would shine my flash light right back at them.

One of them yelled, "Get that damn light out of my face, to which I said, "You first copper!"   I didn't like them much back then. 

He then said,.. "Are you alright miss?"  "Is this ok with you?"   Which Mary then said, "Yeah,.. I'm fine."    

Oh he looked so disappointed just then.   Not a funny story but true all the same.  

But if you think that was brash of me, you should hear about the incident I had once with the chief of police no less.  

That little incident turned the heat up real fast for me and some of the guys.      

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10 minutes ago, woodworker said:

It sounds like he was a nice guy.  

You know when I was young and used to go to Lovers Lane with some such girl or another.  The cops would always come along and go from car to car shinning their flash lights through the windows, and just nosing around.   Well, after they finally made their way on to my car and shined their damn lights into my face, I would shine my flash light right back at them.

One of them yelled, "Get that damn light out of my face, to which I said, "You first copper!"   I didn't like them much back then. 

He then said,.. "Are you alright miss?"  "Is this ok with you?"   Which Mary then said, "Yeah,.. I'm fine."    

Oh he looked so disappointed just then.   Not a funny story but true all the same.  

But if you think that was brash of me, you should hear about the incident I had once with the chief of police no less.  

That little incident turned the heat up real fast for me and some of the guys.      

You obviously were allot of fun back then lol......let's hear it, don't stop now lol

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