Funny Limericks.

[Alexandria]

A plucky young lady from Crewe

Remarked as the Vicar withdrew,

The Bishop was quicker 

And slicker and thicker,

And two inches longer than you. 

[Slender Man]

At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey

I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry.

I had to act quick

To cool down my dick, 

So I stuck it in my McFlurry. 

 

There once was a man named Frazini,

Who spilt some gin on his weenie.

Not being uncouth

He added vermouth,

And slipped his gf a Martini. 

[Slender Man]

[Alexandria]

There was a young sailor from Brighton,

Who remarked to his girl, you've a tight one.

She replied, "Oh my soul,

Your in the wrong hole.

There's plenty room in the right one!" 😁

[Alexandria]

A lady once triplets begat, 

Named Nat, Pat and Tat.

Though it was fun breeding,

The trouble was feeding,

Cause there just was no tit for Tat. 😀

[Alexandria]

There was a young lady in France,

Who hopped on a bus in a trance.

Three passengers fucked her, 

Besides the conductor,

And the driver shot twice in his pants. 😀

[StnCld316]

There was a man from Lachine

Who invented the wack-off machine

On the 49th stroke, the fucking thing broke and mashed his balls into cream

[Slender Man]

There was a young man from Bombay,

Who shagged 20 chickens a day.

He wouldn't stop fucking,

Till they started clucking.

Then he'd eat the eggs that they lay. 

 

There was an old man from Harrow,

Who tried to have sex with a sparrow.

The sparrow said, "No, you can't have a go.

As the hole in my ass is too narrow.

[Slender Man]

There was a young man from Newcastle,

Who could wrap himself up like a parcel,

And in that position, he did a rendition.

Of God Save the Queen through his arsehole. 

[Alexandria]

There was a baker from South Carolina,

Who stuck an eggbeater in her vagina.

The cakes she would glaze

In an orgasmic haze.

And her screams they would rattle the China. 😁

[Alexandria]

There was a young man called Bruno,

Who said, "Fucking is one thing I do know,

Sheep are just fine, and woman divine.

But, Llamas are numero uno!" 😂

[ARMY SNIPER]

A woman is a creature truly devine

She blooms every month and bear's every nine

The only creature this side of hell

That's gets goodies from the nut's without breaking the shell