Aussie_oi_oi Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Joke of the day 😉 A couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any p"""c hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself." So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?" "No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?" "Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department. The girl finished her bath and went to bed. Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?" "Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours." "Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before." "I know," he said.... "but the bloody darts team hadn't! 😉 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Joke of the day 😉 INDIAN WINTER It's late fall and the Indians on the Northern Cheyanne Indian Reservation in Montana asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old ways. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He got on the phone and called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.' The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.' 'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked. The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood.' 😉 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Joke of the day 😉 My car broke down last night so I stood on the side of the road hitch-hiking. It was a very dark night and it looked like it was getting ready to storm. No cars were passing by, so I started walking. After walking about a mile the storm hit and it got so strong that I could hardly see a few feet ahead of me. Suddenly I saw a car come up beside me and stopped.... Without thinking about it, I got in the car and closed the door and realized that nobody was behind the wheel! The car started forward slowly and then I looked at the road and saw a curve in the road coming up. I'm not going to lie, I was scared! I started praying and begged for my life! I hadn't come out of the shock yet, when just before the car came into the curve, a hand appeared through the driver's side window and moved the steering wheel. I was paralyzed in terror! And I watched how this hand appeared every time just before a curve! I guess I finally gathered some wits about me, and some strength, so I jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, I ran into a bar and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience that I went through. The place got pretty silent when everybody in the bar finally realized that I was pretty visibly shaken and was not drunk. About a half an hour later, two guys walked into the same bar, and one guy said to the other. "Look, Bubba! That's the jerk who climbed into our car while we were pushing it!" 😉 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Joke of the day 😉 Bill was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbor knocking on his door one Friday evening."I'm so horny that I can't stand it." she said."I want to go out, get drunk and get laid. Are you free tonight?". "Yes!!!!" he replied enthusiastically. "Wonderful." she said. "Would you watch my kids?" 😉 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Joke of the day 😉 As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!" 😉 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie57 Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 A guy goes into a bar which has a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics and space exploration. The guy leaves, but he is curious. So he goes back. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot makes a martini, and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. The guy leaves but finds it interesting, so he tries one last time. He goes back in once again. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot makes a martini, and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "About 50." The robot leans in real close and says, “Isn’t it terrible the way Biden stole the election?” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 White Santa vs Black Santa POSTSTUFF2.ENTENSITY.NET Check Out This Video! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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