Not good. I'm not playing psychologist here, but you need to express these feelings of low self esteem. You're too young to be thinking like that.
I wouldn't want to be your age in todays world. If I did it would be for meaningless sex only. Something that is rampant today. There is no personal interaction with people. Everyone has their face buried in the electronic world.
Yes, I'm sitting here at the computer, mainly because my wife went to bed. She has to be up at 4:00 am for work. Other friends are spending time with their families.
But man, when I was 18, I was having the time of my life. Out every night, sleep 3 hours, go to work, then out all night again. No one stayed at home.