Aussie_oi_oi

Joke of the day 😉 Lost at Costco Two guys, one old timer and one young, were pushing their carts around Costco when they collide. The old timer said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy said, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy replied, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?" The old timer said, "It doesn't matter. Let's look for yours..." 😉

Please don't get that white sticky stuff on her fur coat 🤣

Hey Pulo that's my misses 😁

Love Leora's beautiful red nails.

Sometimes you look at Leora sleeping peacefully and you just want to spoon with her. 🥰

We would debate that.... hahaha

AFL- AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL is about to start the new season. Thought Leora might like the men.

Joke of the day 😉 After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It’s Eric. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart." Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. The young woman sitting next to him had enough and she leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed." Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer 😉

Lovely black lingerie Leora is wearing this morning.

Joke of the day 😉 A lunatic escapes from an asylum, runs into the launderette of the nearest town, shags 3 women and runs away. The headline in the evening paper reads ................... ... "NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS" 😉

a dollar every time and you'll be a millionaire by Christmas Chris. 😁

Nothing in life is free.

Good afternoon patou

Joke of the day 😉 Two old guys talking. Bill said to the other: "My 69th birthday was yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" Bill: Yup. "Socks, Underwear and Viagra!" 😉

Joke of the day 😉 Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES . . . $50.00." A policeman seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time another car passed with a sign saying "Jesus Saves." They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "well, that's a little different it pertains to religion." So they took their sign down and the next day there they were, driving around town with a new sign which said, (Two Angels Seeking Peter . . . $50.00." 😉

Joke of the day 😉 One morning Little Johnny came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Son, you’ve just witnessed a miracle,” the priest said. “Tell me where is this man now?” “Flat on his ass over by the holy water,” said the boy. 😉

Joke of the day 😉 BIOLOGY EXAM: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'. The question was worth 70 points or none at all. Little Johnny, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A+. 😉

Aussie Long weekend Update. We have a Public Holiday on Monday 14th so a great chance for the lads to leave the wives behind and have a boys weekend. "What Happens in the Warrnambool stays in there" Four days of drinking, fine food, horse racing and beautiful rich women. The Rich and famous are heading there for the weekend. I'm a good boy "wink wink" Leila Rose Foundation Community Race Day | Warrnambool Racing Club COUNTRY.RACING.COM Find out everything you need to know about race day at Warrnambool! Here, you'll find racecourse information, gate...

Just use the ignore feature and you won't see ddhm posts again. It saves him getting you the shits.

I'm hopeful but not overly optimistic.

Pinned

Joke of the day 😉 Mr. Sampson asks his 6th grade class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asked the class the question again and this time Sam raised his hand. "Yes, Sam?" "Mr. Sampson, Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to tell you: First, it's clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed. 😉