Aussie_oi_oi

Aussie Long weekend Update. We have a Public Holiday on Monday 14th so a great chance for the lads to leave the wives behind and have a boys weekend. "What Happens in the Warrnambool stays in there" Four days of drinking, fine food, horse racing and beautiful rich women. The Rich and famous are heading there for the weekend. I'm a good boy "wink wink" Leila Rose Foundation Community Race Day | Warrnambool Racing Club COUNTRY.RACING.COM Find out everything you need to know about race day at Warrnambool! Here, you'll find racecourse information, gate...

Just use the ignore feature and you won't see ddhm posts again. It saves him getting you the shits.

I'm hopeful but not overly optimistic.

Pinned

Joke of the day 😉 Mr. Sampson asks his 6th grade class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asked the class the question again and this time Sam raised his hand. "Yes, Sam?" "Mr. Sampson, Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to tell you: First, it's clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed. 😉

Joke of the day 😉 Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for... you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW. To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation. A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!" 😉

Joke of the day 😉 President Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly. Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?" asked Putin. "Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19-year-old and 21-year-old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously. "My God, what did you tell them?" asks Putin. The driver replies, "I'm president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig." 😉

Joke of the day 😉 two trees and a woodpecker It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?' The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?' The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'it is neither a son of a beech or a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into. 😉

I agree, loved her anal play

Raul?

Where the hell is Leora?

Really

We should celebrate our wives more and god knows what I would do without her.

Tweety and Holly are nice to look at but they just lie around in bed doing nothing.

I'm sure he does, considering my wife is better looking than Leora 😍

What a mate.....😂

Down boy

would have liked to have seen more of her

That froth on the beer isn't from the beer 🤣

Zena did have a good body

Bloody Biden, it must be his fault 🤣

Maybe the phones are down due to the war?

not wrong 🤣