Aussie_oi_oi

Hey Pulo that's my misses 😁

Love Leora's beautiful red nails.

Sometimes you look at Leora sleeping peacefully and you just want to spoon with her. 🥰

We would debate that.... hahaha

AFL- AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL is about to start the new season. Thought Leora might like the men.

Joke of the day 😉 After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It’s Eric. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart." Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. The young woman sitting next to him had enough and she leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed." Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer 😉

Lovely black lingerie Leora is wearing this morning.

Joke of the day 😉 A lunatic escapes from an asylum, runs into the launderette of the nearest town, shags 3 women and runs away. The headline in the evening paper reads ................... ... "NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS" 😉

a dollar every time and you'll be a millionaire by Christmas Chris. 😁

Nothing in life is free.

Good afternoon patou

Joke of the day 😉 Two old guys talking. Bill said to the other: "My 69th birthday was yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" Bill: Yup. "Socks, Underwear and Viagra!" 😉

Joke of the day 😉 Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES . . . $50.00." A policeman seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time another car passed with a sign saying "Jesus Saves." They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "well, that's a little different it pertains to religion." So they took their sign down and the next day there they were, driving around town with a new sign which said, (Two Angels Seeking Peter . . . $50.00." 😉

Joke of the day 😉 One morning Little Johnny came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Son, you’ve just witnessed a miracle,” the priest said. “Tell me where is this man now?” “Flat on his ass over by the holy water,” said the boy. 😉

Joke of the day 😉 BIOLOGY EXAM: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'. The question was worth 70 points or none at all. Little Johnny, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A+. 😉

Aussie Long weekend Update. We have a Public Holiday on Monday 14th so a great chance for the lads to leave the wives behind and have a boys weekend. "What Happens in the Warrnambool stays in there" Four days of drinking, fine food, horse racing and beautiful rich women. The Rich and famous are heading there for the weekend. I'm a good boy "wink wink" Leila Rose Foundation Community Race Day | Warrnambool Racing Club COUNTRY.RACING.COM Find out everything you need to know about race day at Warrnambool! Here, you'll find racecourse information, gate...

Just use the ignore feature and you won't see ddhm posts again. It saves him getting you the shits.

I'm hopeful but not overly optimistic.

Pinned

Joke of the day 😉 Mr. Sampson asks his 6th grade class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asked the class the question again and this time Sam raised his hand. "Yes, Sam?" "Mr. Sampson, Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to tell you: First, it's clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed. 😉

Joke of the day 😉 Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for... you. To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation. To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW. To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation. A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!" 😉

Joke of the day 😉 President Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly. Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?" asked Putin. "Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19-year-old and 21-year-old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously. "My God, what did you tell them?" asks Putin. The driver replies, "I'm president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig." 😉