Aussie_oi_oi

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members…. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!” 😉

Joke of the day 😉 A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. What are you doing?" she exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" he exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing?" she exclaimed. He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law." 😉

Perfect for Leora.

Love the look that Leora's buttplug gives her.

Can't knock Leora for that kink.

Joke of the day 😉 A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. Johnny who working in that department told him, that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that assistant Johnny ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, Johnny said to the manager, "Some a$$hole wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to Johnny, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son..??" “Texas sir." Johnny replied. "Well, why did you leave Texas.??" the manager asked. Johnny said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players there." "Really..??" said the manager, "My wife is from Texas." "Get outta here..!!" Johnny said. "Who'd she play for..??" 😉

What type of porn do you think Leora likes to watch?

So it's safe to say Leora like 70% of the world likes watching porn.

Thank you

One lucky dude, I say.

For nearly a decade I've been watching Leora I've never seen watching any porn. Leora but be naturally gifted at giving blow jobs.

Bad news for us, but happy days for Paul. BJ time for Paul.

Joke of the day 😉 A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancee to his study for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. "A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancee. The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide. Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?" The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God." 😉

Joke of the day 😉 The Blonde who married a Catholic: On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, 'It's Lent.' In tears, she sobbed, 'Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long? 😉

Joke of the day 😉 A man goes to the doctor. He says very excitedly, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The Doctor gives him an awkward look. Then he cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Give me $20 please. I really need twenty bucks." "I've never seen or heard anything like this before,” the doctor exclaims, “How long has this been going on?" "That's nothing Doc!” The man says. “Put your ear to my knee." The doctor looks puzzled, but puts his ear to the man's knee. He hears it say, "Man, I really need $10. Just lend me ten bucks!!" The doctor says dumbfounded, “Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." "Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more,” the man says. He urges him on, “just put your ear up to my ankle." The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $5. Lend me five bucks, please, if you will." "I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about it in my medical books, he said, as he frantically searched all his medical reference library. "I can make a well educated guess though,", he declares. "𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬." 😉

Joke of the day 😉 A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off." The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!" 😉

Joke of the day 😉 A little boy wanted $100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter from God, USA, they decided to route it to the President. The President was so amused that he instructed the secretary of the Treasury to send the little boy a brand new $5.00 bill from the mint. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington D.C. and those A-holes took $95.00 in taxes. 😉

Joke of the day Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years, and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows." Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture, carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp. First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend." Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows, and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

Trouble with B4 they don't know how to party!