StnCld316

OK. Masha needs to ditch Elvis for good. It won't take her long to get another guy.

That's usually the way it goes. The war will still be going for at least another year.

At least it wasn't at the hands of Elvis's abuse. That guy plainly hates cats.

See how long this one lasts before the dog christens it with his claws.

Tax increases are nothing new. Taxes go up every year.

He's coming to America to beg for more assistance for weaponry and money. Every Western Country that has contributed so far does not stand a snowballs chance in hell on ever getting repaid.

Martina was away for a few days and likely never unpacked everything.

Teslas, EVs struggle in the polar vortex | Mashable MASHABLE.COM It's so cold the doors are frozen shut.

We got a deep freeze coming from that Polar Vortex and the temps here are going to drop to -50C / -58F for 2 or 3 days. Now we'll get too see just how well those Electric Vehicles hold up before their battery goes dead. So much for the Global Warming Hoax they've tried to shove down everyone's throat for the last 40+ years. Where you are at it will likely go between 28 to 32 for a couple of days.

Has been added. Thanks

They'll fall from the trees but they wont die. Once it warms they'll start moving and start climbing back up the trees.

Dos she have any hair down there.

Most likely Taylor

She likely has used it but being under the blanket.

He'll have his cock ring handy just in case.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No", says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married." "Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible… But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?" The man shakes his head. "No", he says. "They’re all at the funeral."

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

Patient: "Doc, my bum hurts..." Doctor: "Where specifically does it hurt?" Patient: "Right around the entrance." Doctor: "Yeah well that's the exit. As long as you think it's an entrance, it'll continue to hurt."

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window. For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What was that all about?”

One day Max went to see Carl. Carl had a big swollen nose. “Whoa, what happened, Carl?”, Max asked. “I sniffed a brose,” Carl replied. “What?”, Max said. “There’s no ‘b’ in rose!” Carl replied, “There was in this one!”

During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?" He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now." I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense." He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."