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StnCld316

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Everything posted by StnCld316

  1. StnCld316
    Will look after it. Thanks
  2. StnCld316
    Voyeur-house.tv watermark is required on all images.
  3. StnCld316
    OK Thanks.
  4. StnCld316
    I've only seen her with 1 guy since she came to B4 so I figure that's who it must be.
  5. StnCld316
  6. StnCld316
    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’
  7. StnCld316
    A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’ In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!’
  8. StnCld316
    Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. ‘So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?’ Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep and wake up the next day.’ ‘Oh, my God,’ says Sid. ‘So that’s what heaven is like?’ ‘Oh no,’ says Irv. ‘I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park.’
  9. StnCld316
    It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the Funeral.’
  10. StnCld316
    During a Sunday school session, a Sunday school teacher asked kids if they knew how God takes people. One kid stood up and said ‘God takes people by the feet.’ The teacher inquired for an explanation and the kid said that she walked in on her parents and found her mother’s legs lifted up in the air while screaming ‘God I’m coming’
  11. StnCld316
    A man is enjoying a conversation with friends. He accidentally elbows a lady in the chest. He becomes instantly apologetic and says, ‘‘I’m so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your boob, then you’ll find it in your to forgive me.’’ To which the woman replied, ‘‘if your boomstick is as hard as your elbow, you’ll find me in room 318.’’
  12. StnCld316
    5 cm
  13. StnCld316
    A salesman knocks on little Benny’s front door and the conversation goes: Salesman: Can I see your dad? Benny: No, he’s in the shower. Salesman: What about your mum? Benny: She’s in the shower too. Salesman: Do you think they’ll be coming out soon? Benny: No. My dad asked me for Vaseline but instead, I gave him super glue.
  14. StnCld316
  15. StnCld316
    Who is Vamp? Is that the grey haired dude with the 2 inch noodle.
  16. StnCld316
    2 in one day. Things are on a roll.
  17. StnCld316
  18. StnCld316
    Likely hasn't figured how to use it yet.
  19. StnCld316
    Will look after it. Thanks
  20. StnCld316
    If proper laws were in place it would prevent Landlords from plaguing tenants with these outrageous increases.
  21. StnCld316
    Phew!!! I was worried.
  22. StnCld316
    That's what happens when there are no rent controls. Greed takes over. In Canada a Landlord cannot increase the rent no more than 4% per year and has to give the tenant 90 days written notice before the increase is to take effect.
  23. StnCld316
    A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
  24. StnCld316
    Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
  25. StnCld316
    I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
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