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Jokes #3


albundy1089

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A couple is in bed, about to sleep. The husband begins to caress the wife. She goes back to him and says: - I'm sorry, honey, but tomorrow I have an appointment with the gynecologist and I want to be clean. The rejected husband turns to the side. A few minutes later he turns again and caresses the woman again, saying: - Do you have a dentist appointment too?

  • Haha 4
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A guy went to the police station and said: - I came to file a complaint, because my mother-in-law disappeared. The delegate said: - How long has she disappeared? "Two weeks," replied the son-in-law. - And only now are you talking to me? - It's just that I found it hard to believe that I was so lucky!

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The mother-in-law stopped by her daughter's house after shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened?" she asked anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife --- your daughter --- telling her I was coming home a day early from my fishing trip. I got home... and guess what I found? Your daughter in bed with a naked guy! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" said his mother-in-law. "There's something very odd about that. She would never do such a thing. There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her and find out what happened."

A few minutes later, the mother-in-law came back with a big smile and said, "I told you there had to be a simple explanation --- she didn't get your email."

  • Haha 3
  • Confused 1
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An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in

“Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!”

“All of them?” he asks, putting down his rifle.

“No, only one.”

He starts cleaning the rifle again.

 
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There are some Russian soldiers marching

They hear a voice shout from over a hill,

“I bet one Ukrainian can beat ten Russians!”

The Russian sergeant, thinking that it would be easy, sent ten men over the hill to fight. They heard a fighting and noise. No Russian soldiers came back. After a minute, they heard the voice again,

“I bet 1 Ukrainian can beat 100 Russians!”

The sergeant, getting more annoyed now, decided to send some of his men over, to finish this Ukrainian off.

After a while of noise and bangs, no Russian soldiers came back, and the voice shouted again,

“I bet 1 Ukrainian can beat 1000 Russians!”

The sergeant, thinking that 1 soldier could not possibly beat 1000, sent his troops over.

Again, there was lots of noise, but then, silence.

1 Russian soldier returned this time, bloody and bruised, barely walking. The soldier said:

“Don’t send any more men over; there’s actually 2 Ukrainians.”

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A Dutch man and a German meet in a bar in Amsterdam. They drink too much jenever and at some point the Dutch man says to the German: I am the son of God and I can prove it! Ok, says the German, prove it! They walk to the red-light district and the Dutch guy knocks on the first window they see. The prostitute says: Jesus Christ, here again??

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