A timeout for Paul (and Leora)?

[corboblanc]

il y a 15 minutes, BBsq69 a dit :

Je vais être très clair. Prendre le téléphone de quelqu'un et en regardant à travers elle contre leur gré, contre leurs protestations claires, est l'intimidation. Paul lui molli et n'a pas l'intention de lui faire du mal, mais néanmoins son comportement terrible est pourquoi elle a été blessée.

Voilà un incident, qui est scandale. Si vous ne savez pas pourquoi, je ne peux pas vous aider. Il est la violence psychologique pure et simple.

Il n'y a pas de complot. Utilisez vos yeux. Et vous oubliez la violence physique qui est déjà arrivé dans cette relation à plus d'une occasion et si RLC étaient toute sorte d'une organisation décente qui aurait moins temporairement suspendu les caméras sur les occasions de peur de nuire à leur réputation - et c'est ce que qui se serait passé dans le monde occidental.

Je suggère de vous tous qui ne semblent pas avoir pas adhéré au 21e siècle éduquer vous-mêmes, mais alors beaucoup d'hommes dans le monde entier pense que son OK pour traiter les femmes comme ça.

Il est inacceptable d'où je viens, il ne devrait pas être où vous êtes.

avec tout ce qui ce passe dans ce pauvre monde, je suis stupéfait qu'un mec qui se dispute avec sa copine, devienne vite une affaire d'état, ou des mots démesurés sont employés par certains!!!! on parle de violence, de maltraitance, et parfois même de dégénéré ou de taré!!! je n'aimerai vraiment pas vivre dans votre monde, ou chaque mec qui lève le ton sur sa copine, est arrêté par la police, jugé et exécuté par pendaison!!! heureusement que des membres sont ici pour nous partager leur morale irréprochable, grâce à leur vie sans aucune bataille, leur couple sans aucune dispute, jamais!!! et puis les gars ne se gênent pas pour se mêler de la vie des autres, en ne comprenant rien aux paroles, mais en faisant des scénarios ubuesques et de plus en plus hallucinants!!! arrêtez de parler de maltraitance sitôt qu'une fille se fait engueuler!!! il se peu même qu'un jour, une claque surgisse lors d'une dispute!!! je signale également que losque zoya à faillie crever les yeux de lev, alors qu'il hurlait de douleur sur le sol, cela n'a pas gêné grand monde sur ce forum!!! si un jour des coups importants sont donnés, je serais le premier à les dénoncer, mais en attendant, faisons la part des chose svp!!!

with all that is going on in this poor world, I am amazed that a guy who fights with his girlfriend, soon becomes an affair of state, or excessive words are used by some !!!! we talk about violence, abuse, and sometimes degenerated or freak !!! I really would like not to live in your world, or every guy who raises the tone of his girlfriend, was arrested by the police, tried and hanged !!! Fortunately that members are here to share with us their impeccable morality through their life without battle and the couple without any hassles, ever !!! and then the guys do not hesitate to interfere in the lives of others by not understanding the words, but by making grotesque scenarios and more mind-blowing !!! stop talking about abuse as soon as a girl yelled !!! he even bit one day a slap arise during an argument !!! I also noted that losque zoya to die bankrupt lev's eyes as he screamed in pain on the ground, this has not bothered anyone on this forum !!! if one day the important shots are given, I would be the first to denounce them, but in the meantime, let the part of the thing please !!!

[BBsq69]

34 minutes ago, Barry Elephant said:

My woman continually reads my phone against my wishes. She also creeps my emails. She thinks she is doing it in secret, and I pretend to 'catch' her occasionally, and tell her not to do it, yet it continues.

I am not the only man I know who could tell you this. I am sure there will be others on here. Many men suffer many invasions of their privacy, and pretend not to know about it for the same reasons.

I don't count it as bullying, scandal, or think it's particularly awful behaviour. It's just par for the relationship course, if you ask me, deals with some little mistrusts and jealousies, and last time I checked, I was here in the 21st century.  I put up with it because she's my woman. It sets her mind at ease. I don't like it but she's my girl, so I put up with it.

Chill out. Its not that bad having someone go through your telephone, if that person is important to you and it helps them.

 

 

So she does in front with you, with you pleading for her not to do it do you and she fights you off? Really, and that's healthy? Do you read her diary? Like I said, this behaviour is considered bullying in the UK. It's what they use in all the bullying adverts. Obviously people do look surreptitiously if they suspect something but what this says to the other person is "I have control. I do no trust you. If you have problem, go to fuck." You maybe comfortable with it, except you aren't - "I don't like it" - I wouldn't be. 

[BBsq69]

29 minutes ago, corboblanc said:

avec tout ce qui ce passe dans ce pauvre monde, je suis stupéfait qu'un mec qui se dispute avec sa copine, devienne vite une affaire d'état, ou des mots démesurés sont employés par certains!!!! on parle de violence, de maltraitance, et parfois même de dégénéré ou de taré!!! je n'aimerai vraiment pas vivre dans votre monde, ou chaque mec qui lève le ton sur sa copine, est arrêté par la police, jugé et exécuté par pendaison!!! heureusement que des membres sont ici pour nous partager leur morale irréprochable, grâce à leur vie sans aucune bataille, leur couple sans aucune dispute, jamais!!! et puis les gars ne se gênent pas pour se mêler de la vie des autres, en ne comprenant rien aux paroles, mais en faisant des scénarios ubuesques et de plus en plus hallucinants!!! arrêtez de parler de maltraitance sitôt qu'une fille se fait engueuler!!! il se peu même qu'un jour, une claque surgisse lors d'une dispute!!! je signale également que losque zoya à faillie crever les yeux de lev, alors qu'il hurlait de douleur sur le sol, cela n'a pas gêné grand monde sur ce forum!!! si un jour des coups importants sont donnés, je serais le premier à les dénoncer, mais en attendant, faisons la part des chose svp!!!

with all that is going on in this poor world, I am amazed that a guy who fights with his girlfriend, soon becomes an affair of state, or excessive words are used by some !!!! we talk about violence, abuse, and sometimes degenerated or freak !!! Fortunately that members are here to share with us their impeccable morality through their life without battle and the couple without any hassles, ever !!! and then the guys do not hesitate to interfere in the lives of others by not understanding the words, but by making grotesque scenarios and more mind-blowing !!! stop talking about abuse as soon as a girl yelled !!! he even bit one day a slap arise during an argument !!! I also noted that losque zoya to die bankrupt lev's eyes as he screamed in pain on the ground, this has not bothered anyone on this forum !!! if one day the important shots are given, I would be the first to denounce them, but in the meantime, let the part of the thing please !!!

Do you understand the difference between grabbing someone by the throat and ramming them into the refrigerator and raising your tone of voice. I think we have established in the past, corbo, that you do not.

"I really would like not to live in your world, or every guy who raises the tone of his girlfriend, was arrested by the police, tried and hanged !!!"

HYPERBOLE MUCH! THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID IS IT. LOOKING THROUGH SOMEONE'S PHONE IN FRONT OF SOMEONE IS NOT A MATTER FOR THE POLICE, BUT IS A FORM OF BULLYING.

READ WHAT I SAY!!!

 

 

 

[BBsq69]

When people love each other they will put up with a lot of shit they shouldn't. All over the world men and women do put up with it, that does not, for one second, make it right. Lots of relationships have a control element and often the victim is the last person to see that. If man raises his hand to a woman or vice versa, it's not right but maybe they just cracked and the couple discuss it. If it happens again then what you have is a big problem.

[corboblanc]

il y a 14 minutes, BBsq69 a dit :

Quand les gens aiment, ils vont mettre en place avec beaucoup de merde, ils ne devraient pas. Tout sur les hommes et les femmes monde font mettre en place avec elle, qui n'a pas, pendant une seconde, faire droit. Beaucoup de relations ont un élément de commande et souvent la victime est la dernière personne à voir. Si l'homme lève la main à une femme ou vice versa, il est pas juste, mais peut-être qu'ils fissurée et le couple en discuter. Si cela se reproduit alors ce que vous avez est un gros problème.

si les disputes sont permanentes, il est évident que le couple à un problème. en attendant, leora est maintenant pleine de joie et de bonne humeur, pas vraiment traumatisée!!! certainement le syndrome de Stockholm, quand la victime tombe amoureuse de son bourreau!!! non, je rigole....

if disputes are permanent, it is clear that the couple with a problem. meanwhile leora is now full of joy and good humor, not really traumatized !!! certainly Stockholm syndrome, where the victim falls in love with her torturer !!! No, just kidding ....

[BBsq69]

2 minutes ago, corboblanc said:

si les disputes sont permanentes, il est évident que le couple à un problème. en attendant, leora est maintenant pleine de joie et de bonne humeur, pas vraiment traumatisée!!! certainement le syndrome de Stockholm, quand la victime tombe amoureuse de son bourreau!!! non, je rigole....

if disputes are permanent, it is clear that the couple with a problem. meanwhile leora is now full of joy and good humor, not really traumatized !!! certainly Stockholm syndrome, where the victim falls in love with her torturer !!! No, just kidding ....

Leora loves Paul, Leora loves RLC. She will put up with a lot. Many women simply go into denial - after the August incident she barely spoke to him for about a month. Also she does not live where I live - not all places have reached the same stage of social developement. 50 years ago in the UK Paul's behaviour would have been seen as something not be overly concerned about, but times have changed. You live in France, a country at least as advanced as the UK, Germany, Holland or Scandinavia, it is surely the same there.

[Guest cobalt75]

2 hours ago, BBsq69 said:

I am going to be very clear here. Taking somebody's phone and looking through it against their wishes, against their clear protests, is bullying. Paul eased her off and did not intend to hurt her but nevertheless his awful behaviour is why she got hurt.

That is an incident, that is scandal. If you do not know why that is, I cannot help you. It is emotional abuse plain and simple.

There is no conspiracy. Use your eyes. And are you forgetting the physical violence that has already happened in this relationship on more than one occasion and if RLC were any sort of a decent organisation they would have least temporarily suspended the cameras on those occasion for fear of damaging their reputation - well that's what would have happened in the western world.

I suggest all of you who do not seem have not joined the 21st century educate yourselves, but then many men around the world think its OK to treat women like this.

It is not acceptable where I come from, it should not be where you are from.

I agree 100%. Paul is "un vrai con" (in french in the text). Nobody is allowed to look in friend or wife or husband phone, or in their computer. What a world if you think so corbeau and daemon!!!! no need to hit to be a con. Look at the video, the first thing he does after Leora fell is to recover the phone who is behind her!!!!!!!!!!This guy is a violent guy yes and a veritable con!!!  "small violence" is acceptable....yes only for stupid men

 

[Barry Elephant]

1 hour ago, BBsq69 said:

So she does in front with you, with you pleading for her not to do it do you and she fights you off? Really, and that's healthy? Do you read her diary? Like I said, this behaviour is considered bullying in the UK. It's what they use in all the bullying adverts. Obviously people do look surreptitiously if they suspect something but what this says to the other person is "I have control. I do no trust you. If you have problem, go to fuck." You maybe comfortable with it, except you aren't - "I don't like it" - I wouldn't be. 

Not sure I get what you are saying. I don't understand "obviously people do look surreptitiously". Is that bullying or not, now?

I believe that there is an element of saying "I have control" in the phone-reading that I experience. I think that's quite clear. No I don't read her diary. There isn't one and I wouldn't if there was. Nor do I read her phone or emails. That's just how it is. I am not unhappy.

I am in the UK, and I believe I can perceive what is and isn't considered bullying. I am also not sure that things are as clear-cut as you suggest.  

I think it's just a matter of keeping things in proportion, and realising that if someone wants to read my spam and business witterings, then so what? Unless of course there is infidelity, which would be exposed by it, when that all becomes more difficult, and that's another kind of control game, and a different kind of bullying.

Sometimes in relationships people posture at infidelity which makes their partner insecure. I call that unfair, you may say bullying,, and it often leads to behaviour like phone-reading, and worse.

People aren't always nice to one-another. People don't always act like we think they should. People exercise control over each other and their relationship-scenario in various ways. There are no absolutes of right and wrong when that happens, particularly in a relationship. Call it bullying, call it controlling, we all do it at some stage of a relationship. There is also much lack of trust at the heart of many relationships.

There is a lot to talk about in the leora-paul relationship, but most of it is in shades of grey.

 

[MGB]

A few observations I would like to make on this subject

Paul’s phone, the yellow one, appears to be the better model with a better camera and is the one used to take photos and upload them to social media. (Although now they have bought a proper camera) I have noted on more than one occasion Leora using this phone to do exactly that, even leaving the flat with the yellow phone leaving Paul with her phone. They have no reason to hide any messages from each other.

He was playfully teasing her, even on the animated gif you can see him smiling until she started to fall. He had his arm under her and managed to break her fall otherwise it would have been a lot worse.

Just afterwards in the bedroom they are both looking at something on her phone and laughing (maybe the very message/youtube clip which she wanted to see) which points to me that both of them thought nothing of the incident so why is this forum.

[showtime4me]

22 hours ago, daemon said:

RLC unlike haters Paul adequately assess the situation. There was not even a scandal, he did not push her. And they saw it. It's funny to call it a push or incident.

You made your point (I guess) over, and over, and over....anything else you want to add?

You are exactly the kind of member I was referring to when I said there are those out there who like to just "rain on your parade" and take all the fun out of this!

[BBsq69]

3 hours ago, MGB said:

He was playfully teasing her, even on the animated gif you can see him smiling until she started to fall. He had his arm under her and managed to break her fall otherwise it would have been a lot worse.

 

Playful teasing. I've heard it all. I did not see the exact moment of the fall (I saw the fall, I just missed her attempted grab) but I saw what happened before and her pleading was not playful. it's not the first time and normally finishes with a blazing row. I know what I saw and I am pretty good at facial expressions and body language which most males are not if the truth be told. If you think this is playful teasing, you are probably one of those people who argued with me that I had misinterpreted when he stormed across the room grabbed her by the throat, slammed into the fridge and brushed it off as a bit of fun. She obviously faked the terror in eyes and the crying and the several weeks after when she had neither sex with him nor even bated ... because she was in such a good mood. This time of course she suffered a big shock as well, but their general relationship at this time is pretty good and maybe she's become desensitised after the last time he grabbed he throat possibly deciding he is what he is. She cried then and then let rip with her fury. I'm pretty certain what that row was about, which was not jealousy on that occasion.

 

[BBsq69]

7 hours ago, Barry Elephant said:

Not sure I get what you are saying. I don't understand "obviously people do look surreptitiously". Is that bullying or not, now?

I believe that there is an element of saying "I have control" in the phone-reading that I experience. I think that's quite clear. No I don't read her diary. There isn't one and I wouldn't if there was. Nor do I read her phone or emails. That's just how it is. I am not unhappy.

I am in the UK, and I believe I can perceive what is and isn't considered bullying. I am also not sure that things are as clear-cut as you suggest.  

I think it's just a matter of keeping things in proportion, and realising that if someone wants to read my spam and business witterings, then so what? Unless of course there is infidelity, which would be exposed by it, when that all becomes more difficult, and that's another kind of control game, and a different kind of bullying.

Sometimes in relationships people posture at infidelity which makes their partner insecure. I call that unfair, you may say bullying,, and it often leads to behaviour like phone-reading, and worse.

People aren't always nice to one-another. People don't always act like we think they should. People exercise control over each other and their relationship-scenario in various ways. There are no absolutes of right and wrong when that happens, particularly in a relationship. Call it bullying, call it controlling, we all do it at some stage of a relationship. There is also much lack of trust at the heart of many relationships.

There is a lot to talk about in the leora-paul relationship, but most of it is in shades of grey.

 

I thought you might be from the UK. in which case you cannot have missed the adverts, not that you should really need to see them. Looking surreptitiously might appear more dishonest but indicative that you do not trust a person but to do it in front of their face means you are saying to them "I DO NOT TRUST YOU". with the purpose of the very least upsetting that person. Sneaking in somebody's room and reading their diary is self-evidently wrong but who would be so crass as to take the diary and read it out in front of the author. Maybe you don't see the difference.

Paul does play control games - I'm not saying she doesn't play her own games although far less frequently than she did and of course she controls her money - even at one stage giving her a walkie-talkie which she was clearly annoyed by and this was far from the first time he has shown his jealously and looked through her phone. If someone lends you their phone, would you look through their messages - bit of a betrayal of trust if you do.

Obviously we have all been suspicious and jealous in relationships. It is natural, but lines should be drawn. For instance how many relationships would survive surveillance by a private detective. "I had you investigated and I am glad to say found nothing ... what's the matter, babe?"

There are as you say shades of grey, but Paul has form. Mind you if my girlfriend suggested we go on RLC ... actually probably I wouldn't mind (and it would mean my GF was probably quite hot) but I suspect I'd be in a very small minority ... so we have Paul to thank for something and it must be stressful sometimes.