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Leora & Paul - General Chat For This Apartment (2016)


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In terms of fighting in relationships...after 26+ years of marriage...we have never fought...and the key is avoiding selfishness.  To be angry at your life partner...you have to harbor some level of selfishness.  If you MUST win the fight you are selfish.  If you do something that hurts your partner and don't care...you are selfish.  And under no circumstances should you ever desire to put your hands on your partner out of anger.  That is just flat unacceptable. I would never do that to my wife...and she would never do that to me.  If I ever felt the need to...it would indicate it was time to leave.  But I honestly never expect that to happen either.  

I think men who do that are usually insecure as to their role as a man...and think they are asserting that role by bringing violence.  But in reality they are just being giant assholes.  

Think before you act, consider how it feels to be on the other side of the argument.  Discuss it...settle it.  Anger never solves anything.  The old saying that cooler heads prevail...is a fact.

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I have wondered if Paul reads these forums as well.  If he did...he might find little positive in it.  We are all big fans of Leora...and love to lavish her with praise...but mostly what I see for Paul is criticism.  And so in that respect...I have wondered if that could possibly be a source of conflict for them.

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Oh...and accept that sometimes your partner is allowed to be selfish...it's why I get to play poker so often when she does not even play...and why I go to chick flicks with her, the Nutcracker and Cats...and many other things I thought I would not care about (they did not turn out to be all that bad).

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