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RLC & OCD & Me


BBsq69
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There is no doubt that my OCD has caused an obsession and therefore a compulsion to see My Belle :heart:. Let's be very clear this is not love or even an obsession about the girl herself but about not missing the best pictures of her. I know that it is difficult to understand if your brain does not work that way and you are lucky that it doesn't. 

Take today when I perhaps suffered from it more than any other. I was hoping because she went to bed late she would not do anything before I got back from the dentist but the gods conspired against me and not only was she awake but it was glorious light. Then I follow her around topless but the feeds are running at different times so I miss shots such as her bending on the bend. And to top all this Leora is bating on the chair like I have wanted her to do for 15 months. I only caught the last few minutes and she was side on but even then I checked once to see if My Belle was up to anything and then checked again while Leora was in a brief shower.


All this with my dental appointment looming for which I had to dress quickly which meant I missed some glorious Kitchen Kitty by Leora, a hall walk, reading naked with her legs apart and eventually playing with the dog which provides almost the best shots you will ever see of The Goddess - unfortunately though I glimpsed these events I could do nothing about them. But of course Leora until Thursday is only my secondary target and I have got over my obsession with pictures of her ages ago so this was easy to deal with.

I cut back to My Belle :heart: and she is topless in the LR in light like you would not believe but I cannot do anything about it because I am already late for the dentist so late that I have to make the choice to run, despite my recent heart scare, to the dentist as finding a parking space may take too long. Despite the fact I know the very best shots will most likely be in the bedroom, I cannot rule out the possibility that she will give a final sexy shower so I set that feed - yes I have 2 monitors in my room but if I had 2 I probably could not cope so I only use one - and hope. In the dentist's which I get to on time and coughing I then start to worry because he is overrunning and all I can think about is what Belle might be doing in that extra few minutes I am going to miss.

Finally I get in, the dentist fills the hole offers me a choice between £233 crown or a £53 filling so because of cash flow problems I go for that latter even though I know that it will probably have to be crowned in the future. So the appointment is shorter than I expected but then they offer to do it tomorrow or Thursday. Well now a normal person would not have hesitated (provided it did not clash with the doctor's appointment the next day) but I am already going through the mill so I ask for one on Friday and eventually have to settle for one on Monday.

Then I sprint back to see I got nothing in the shower and all the nudity happened elsewhere. I am guessing she either did not change out of her panties or did it quickly ... but oh that light.

So before people have a go at me and think that I am old fool chasing love's young dream, I hope this has made it clear to you. It is all about the pictures and physical attraction and I cannot actually help it but it most certainly isn't love. Any protective feelings or hoping she has a good life are entirely separate and for the amount I have watched her pretty normal.

Hopefully now people will understand my behaviour and realise that I just have a problem. It means for instance that while I would love to see her cam and find every picture or video of Belle, it does not mean that I would contact her or look for her on social media so there is zero danger of me bothering her. It does get in the way of my life but on the other hand has also contributed to me producing more when I get obsessed with work. However I wish it was less intense. Of course the thing is now I know it will be replaced by another obsession which will most likely be totally unrelated and I hope something useful but it is not really within my control.

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19 minutes ago, nagachilli2 said:

Good job Melissa's going soon or I might end up the same :huh:

You have to have OCD in the first place. It effects me in a few other ways such as I can't look at shoes who have anyone talk about dirt or unplesantries but only when i eat - I sometimes feel the need to clean the floor of any obvious dirt marks for the same reason - cannot cope with seeing things which might fall or get knocked off but only if they could break and an unattended pen without a top on drives me crazy. But I know other people with similar problems such as people who have to align things on their desk ... which unfortunately leads me to have the compulsion to unalign them - I don't know why!

We have a comedian in the UK who went to the OCD clinic and he does not have a serious problem despite having to sleep in the car because a spoon was missing from a drawer. So I think I actually must have a very mild version of it, certainly nothing like Sheldon of  "The Big Bang Theory". By the way from the first episode Jim Parsons's performance was brilliant because you could really feel him trying to fight his feelings in not trying to speak out but naturally he was unable to stop himself. Later I have become disappointed that his character has changed slightly because I don't think that's possible. For instance although capable of much love his character was avowedly asexual and I don't honestly think without hormone treatment how that could change ... but they did it for the story. Amy is creepy anyway especially with Penny. 

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Wow - after reading all of that I have a better understanding of why you have seemed to obsess over Belle.  I do know that there are med's out there to help, especially if one's OCD gets in the way of life.  In your case you may want to think about that as the example of the dentist rescheduling (although not life threatening) is putting the obsession before life events.  Something tells me you are aware of this though.

RLC does tend to suck people in and in a way seems to hope that people make a connection in their own mind with some of the apartments or people.  Thus keeping them watching. I guess from that standpoint all voyeuring is somewhat of an obsession.  Some take it to different levels.  A voyeur who peeps in peoples windows (peeping Tom) or puts cameras in places to watch people without their permission is in my opinion one who has taken their obsession to a different level.  RLC though, allows voyeurs to see what is behind closed doors in a safe way.  

It is hard for me to understand what you are dealing with (although you described it well).  Mainly because for me I can stop watching and get on with life anytime, whatever is going on.   Same with people leaving RLC.  If they go another comes for a while.  It is TV for me - and the people on RLC are just paid characters as I see it.  Don't get me wrong  - I enjoy tuning in - but am fine tuning out as well.

I hope that this obsession does not restrict more of your life and that you find something more productive to obsess over.  Otherwise this will become an unproductive black hole for you I fear.  

I wish you good luck!

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I know exactly how you feel, because I feel the same, I think. I'm always afraid of missing out on nudity. Now as for Leroa, I've already recorded so much of her naked body that I can accept missing out on some stuff from her. But as for Curly (the hot one from C&S), Nina or Lima, I turture myself to no end if I discover I missed something from them. Used to be the same for me with some girls on LiveJasmin. Luckily they're all gone. This obsession with not  missing out is probably one  of the reasons  I barely  go out except for work.

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In terms of voyeurism actually it is not the first obsession I had. As people may know the BB in my name stands for Big Brother It is not really because I am eldest child, although I am, but after the TV series which I watched in series 1 and then watched every night from series 2 through to near the end of series 8. I wasn't the only one and it was very popular where I worked with both males and females. I used to report on via first e-mails and eventually a blog probably read by about 20 people. However then I got drawn into a community which discussed BB all day. But it was not until series 7 that I became obsessed with a girl. 

The result of this equipment led me to buy 2 recorders so I could review on one while watching the other because there was a channel dedicated to 24 hour coverage of the house. I rushed home in my lunch hour to swap disks. This is the kind of fear of missing something that FighterPilot has described. There wasn't really any nudity - well there was but for some reason showing male nudity was fine but not female nudity so they would cut away so for instance when 2 naked girls went to chase some insect the camera cut to a sleeping man - but I still got some good shots.

Obviously this meant I did not watch all the time so I could still go out in the evening but yes that lunch time dash home (I lived close enough to work so that was a 10 minute drive) was a bit stupid. I always went out for lunch anyway so people never really suspected anything.

 

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Our BigBrother (Israel) was much worse. Not only was there absolutely no nudity, there  were hardly any you'd like to see naked. It was made as a family friendly show. It really  bummed  me out, cuz I was  really hyped  for  it after  seeing other  countries' versions. But it really  was for the best, otherwise  I'd start  my  obsession sooner.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Late but not last....I sure could use a guy like you BBsq69 in real life...the only guy ever obsessed with me wanted to cut me up in little pieces and throw behind a wood pile in back of my house. Image coming home to you everyday and waking up in the morning with you everyday knowing how into me you were...wanting me and caring about me....it's a girls dream....you would put rose petals in my bath for me....buy me nice perfumes, jewelry and clothes...and take me out to great restaurants for dinner maybe even an occasional Broadway musical....and...I would give you in return the ultimate sex life doing everything you ask of me..I would be your love doll you could do anything you want with me....I would totally submit myself to your pleasure. I was created by God to be for your enjoyment...you would never be lonely  I would always be there for you.......BUT you still have to take out the garbage and clean the cat box for me..also you have to clean my car......go the store when I need something....give me total control of the TV remote and get ready for this...NO FUCKING SPORTS  on MY TV......ever......and other duties as I will assign you....CK

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BBsq69

Oh I forgot I do love Leora very very much also and I get where you are coming from sincerely....I was just playing with you in my other reply....nothing wrong with how you feel...enjoy life as you wish....and do not feel like there is something wrong because you feel the way you do.....in life we have to take what we can get....sometimes we don't get a very good hand of cards dealt to us.  All I can say is enjoy yourself love who you are and love who you want in whatever way you want...don't worry if you miss something about the girls you like...in real life it's the same way....you won't always get to watch them put on panties and pantyhose but when you do....hmmmmmm it's yours....that moment belongs to you....when they are gone there will be others....I am glad that you have your favorite girls....they are yours....CK

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