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StnCld316

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Everything posted by StnCld316

  1. StnCld316
    If she wants to leave him, all she has to tell him is GTFO and never come back. All he does is show up for something to eat, fuck and abuse the cats.
  2. StnCld316
    When is she never not on the damn thing.
  3. StnCld316
    Savannah & Troy have departed the VHTV project.
  4. StnCld316
  5. StnCld316
    A little boy walks into his parents' room while they're having sex. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" The mother explains, "Your daddy was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out." The boy says, "That's funny. Every time you leave for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
  6. StnCld316
    On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asks how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replies, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex will surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
  7. StnCld316
    Nothing funny. All it shows is how stupid people can really be.
  8. StnCld316
    That too.
  9. StnCld316
    With RLC no notice is needed. They just say pack your shit and go.
  10. StnCld316
    He's likely beating off in the bath.
  11. StnCld316
    That's the plan. Now it just has to happen. Things in Russia can turn easily on the spin of dime.
  12. StnCld316
    Go into your Browser Setting and choose Reset. This will remove the current Browser Settings back to Default. Once that's done things should improve.
  13. StnCld316
    All of the organs are deciding who should be in charge: "I should be in charge," said the brain , "I run all the body's systems, without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the heart , "I circulate oxygen and nutrients all over." "No! I should be in charge," said the stomach, "I process the food that gives us energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "without me the body couldn't go anywhere." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the anus, "I am responsible for waste removal." All of the other body parts laughed at the anus and insulted him. So he shut down. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the heart pumped toxic blood. They all decided that the anus should be the boss. What is the moral of the story? Even though everybody else does all of the work the ass hole is usually in charge.
  14. StnCld316
    Anant called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Anant. "Is mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank." After a brief pause, Anant said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!" "Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!" "Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house." "Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy." "And what happened?" "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's dead." "Oh my god! What about Uncle Frank?" "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too." There was a long pause, then Anant said, "Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?"
  15. StnCld316
    A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing and the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing." He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
  16. StnCld316
    A beautiful woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, “Do you have extra large condoms?” The pharmacist replies, “Yes, aisle 11.” The woman goes to aisle 11, about 30 minutes later she's still looking at the condoms. The pharmacist calls over to her, “Do you need some help?” The woman replies, “No, I’m just waiting for somebody to buy some.”
  17. StnCld316
    Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice that said, “Dave, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go.” But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, whispering “Dave, you’re a vet…”
  18. StnCld316
    I was sitting in my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note: “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants.” So I wrote back: “Give me back the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
  19. StnCld316
    Can't announce her as official until RLC places her name.
  20. StnCld316
    A boot to the nuts would have been quicker.
  21. StnCld316
    Once she has the child then she'll likely have some stretchmarks.
  22. StnCld316
    Running good now.
  23. StnCld316
    Once I seen the Error 500 Page, I knew Admin was looking after it. It usually means doing a Reboot of the system.
  24. StnCld316
    It's easy to get issues taken care of when I am on as I just send an e-Mail to Admin and it's taken care of. There are times when things happen when I am not online then it can take a bit longer to get things back in operating order. It's impossible to be on here 24 Hours a day.
  25. StnCld316
    Seems to be fine now.
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