TBG 150 Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 That's a tornado, not a hurricane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 A man named Benny meets a genie who grants him three wishes. Benny wishes for a fine house, a beautiful wife and a million dollars. The genie grants his wishes, but warns him that can never shave his beard, or he will become an urn. Benny enjoys his life for many years, but his lovely wife doesn't like his beard and asks him to shave it off. Though afraid of the genie's prophesy, Benny shaves his beard, and is immediately turned into an urn. THE MORAL: A BENNY SHAVED IS A BENNY URNED! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Stupid Benny should have just trimmed it. 😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “All right,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy piece of meat.” Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him. Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder. “I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!” Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him. The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robwin Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 My young neighbour friend told me she recently applied for citizenship in Australia. "Do you have a criminal record?" they asked her. "Is that still a requirement?" she said 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 What cheese goes around a castle? Moats-a-rella! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 What do you call people waiting in line for a Streisand concert? A Barbra queue. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 What do you call a guy who is always in debt? Owen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Once upon a time, there was a horse and a chicken who were good friends. They lived on a farmyard with lots of other animals and were very happy. One day, while they were playing near the farm's pond, the horse stepped into a hole of quicksand. The horse rapidly sank and was yelling for his friend, the chicken, to save him. The chicken thought for a minute, then ran back to the farmhouse, and jumped into the farmer's 735csi BMW. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition, and the chicken managed to start the car and put it in gear. It raced over to the sinkhole where the horse had almost disappeared by now. The smart chicken tied a rope around the back of the BMW and threw the other end around the front legs of the horse. The chicken hopped back in the driver's seat and stepped on the gas. Ever so slowly, the horse eased out of the quicksand and jumped to safety. The horse, still on shaky legs, stuttered: "You just saved my life. Thank you!" The chicken just said, "Don't mention it - That's what friends are for!!" They returned the BMW and went out to dinner together in the barnyard. A few days later, the horse got up from a good night's rest and heard some muffled cries for help coming from the backyard. The horse followed the sounds and came upon a terrible scene. There was his best friend, the chicken, stuck in a hole of quicksand! The sand was already up to its neck-feathers and the cries for help had almost stopped. The horse took a quick look around: No rope in sight And the farmer had gone to town with his BMW. What to do? The horse took a deep breath and spread his body and legs out over the hole. His member was dangling down right above the poor chicken. "Here, my friend, grab my thingie and I will pull you to safety!". With its last bit of energy, the chicken grabbed a hold of the big horse-thingie and the horse straightened its body, pulling the chicken from its trap. With one big step, both were on solid ground and safe. The chicken slumped down on the ground, exhausted: "Now You saved my life, my friend!!" The horse just smiled. And what is the moral of this story? ... If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robwin Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Question......How could the chicken throw the rope around the horses legs if he had almost disappeared in the quicksand 😁😁😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 What do you call an ostrich running through a cornfield? A crop duster! (For those too young to know, this may help.) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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