letsdothis Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 32 minutes ago, Robwin said: Question......How could the chicken throw the rope around the horses legs if he had almost disappeared in the quicksand 😁😁😁 I thought about that, too, but since I didn't write it, I didn't bother coming up with an answer. 🤣🤣🤣 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave 27 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 38 minutes ago, Robwin said: Question......How could the chicken throw the rope around the horses legs if he had almost disappeared in the quicksand 😁😁😁 The horse was on it's back Dumbo!!!😀😀😀 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 An old man checks out the local Nudist Colony to see if he wants to join The clerk invites him to take a nude, self tour. He agrees and proceeds to go for his tour, completely naked, sporting only his cigar... not five minutes into his stroll he sees a beautifully shaped young lady in the buff which aroused him quickly... the young lady, noticing his erection decides to take advantage of good thing which pleases the the old cigar smoker... in his excitement to return to the office to join he accidentally dropped his cigar... a passing Male sees him bent over and takes advantage of his position.... when finished the old guy returns to the office and tells the clerk his experience... the clerk asks "so, will you be joining?" He responds "No!" "Why Not?" asks the clerk... he states matter of factly.... "I get aroused about once a month, but I drop my cigar 3 times a day!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Husband and wife are sunbathing at a nudist beach... When suddenly a wasp flies into the wife's vagina. She screams in terror, and frantically tells her husband what happened. He scoops her into his arms, throws her into the car and speeds to the hospital. At the hospital the doctor tries a few different ways to remove the wasp with each one failing. The doctor has an idea, turns to the husband and says, "We will coat your penis with honey, you insert it into your wife. When you feel the wasp on your head, slowly remove it." The husband gives it a try but with all the yelling, hectic drive and stress of the situation, he cannot get an erection. The doctor says, "With both your permissions, I can perform the procedure." Fearing that the wasp can do damage in there, they both readily agree. The doctor pulls down his scrubs, smears himself with honey and gets instantly hard. He slowly inserts his honey covered penis a few inches into the wife's vagina. Withdraws an inch, slides back in a couple inches, withdraws a few inches. "There he is... no, lost him... I think I got him. No, no. Lost him again..." Over the next 20 minutes, the doctor's comments has turned into grunts and pants. He now has sweat dripping from his face, while pumping the wife viorously. The wife is moaning wildly, and has locked her legs around the doctors hips. The husband is on the edge of his seat and screams, "Doctor, tell me what's happening!? What's going on in there!" Doctor replies, "Change of plans. I'm going to drown that little fucker." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says,"Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look short!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?' The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?' She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts... Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer. 'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the £500 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.' The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 35 minutes ago, Robwin said: Question......How could the chicken throw the rope around the horses legs if he had almost disappeared in the quicksand 😁😁😁 OK, since you insisted. () First, he tied one end of the rope to the BMW. Then, he dove into the quicksand with the other end of the rope, looped it around the horse's legs, used the rope to pull himself out of the quicksand and pulled the horse to safety. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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TBG 150 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 5 hours ago, letsdothis said: What do you call an ostrich running through a cornfield? A crop duster! (For those too young to know, this may help.) The kiddies today use some over-priced pads called Swiffer's. Then they toss them away to clog up landfills. The feather duster you just take outside, shake it and re-use it. But that would require putting the phone down. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 40 minutes ago, letsdothis said: But...That's a crab. 😁 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARMY SNIPER Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 1 hour ago, TBG 150 said: The kiddies today use some over-priced pads called Swiffer's. Then they toss them away to clog up landfills. The feather duster you just take outside, shake it and re-use it. But that would require putting the phone down. Ain't no way they are going to put their phone down. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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