Jokes #1

[Slender Man]

[Slender Man]

[Slender Man]

[ARMY SNIPER]

A few year's ago my girlfriend was about to have a birthday,so I asked her what she wanted.(Bad Idea).she looked at me and said "I want something with lot's of Diamond's ". I said "Are you Serious".She looked at me with a serious face,raised her eyebrow's and said "Yes"...so here is what I got her           a deck of poker card's.    What? it has lot's of Diamond's       Here is her response...          

[Slender Man]

41 minutes ago, ARMY SNIPER said:

A few year's ago my girlfriend was about to have a birthday,so I asked her what she wanted.(Bad Idea).she looked at me and said "I want something with lot's of Diamond's ". I said "Are you Serious".She looked at me with a serious face,raised her eyebrow's and said "Yes"...so here is what I got her           a deck of poker card's.    What? it has lot's of Diamond's       Here is her response...          

 

Lucky you didn't get a kick in the

[Slender Man]

[ARMY SNIPER]

1 hour ago, Slender Man said:

 

Lucky you didn't get a kick in the

  I would have gave her  a few of these,i mean after all it was her Birthday LOL.

[Slender Man]

6 hours ago, ARMY SNIPER said:

  I would have gave her  a few of these,i mean after all it was her Birthday LOL.

That goes without saying. LOL 

[HappyChappie]

Do you know why Americans like the little cocktail dress?

Cause with one yank they are off! 🙂

[Dave 27]

So a guide in the National Museum in Edinburgh is showing visitors some ancient Egyptian carvings and he says"these are at least 3000 yrs.old and Moses probably saw them."

A visitor pipes up and says"that's amazing I didn't know Moses had been to Edinburgh"!!😏

[Dave 27]

How big is the queue at B&Q

Same size as the B😀

[Dave 27]

A bad tempered diner summoned the waitress for the seventh or eighth time

"Do you call this pig he asked pointing the contents of the fork at her" 

"At which end of the fork sir?"she asked😀