Girls on Vacation - General Chat Topic (Jan - Mar./2018)

[BBsq69]

Psychologize (v.):

1. Analyze or regard in psychological terms, especially in an uninformed way.
2. Theorize or speculate concerning the psychology of someone.

Just some help for any other amatuer psychologists on the board

 

Still, it’s worth asking: What’s the alternative? Not wondering and guessing at each other’s feelings and motivations seems out of the question. It may be diplomatic never to mention what we’re guessing but it verges on patronizing, as if others are too sensitive to hear our guesses. But as one who tends to psychologize aloud too often, here are few guidelines I try to live by:

1. It’s not rocket science. Newton said, “I can calculate the motions of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.” Psychology is not rocket science. It’s harder—harder to do with any kind of precision, anyway. When speculating, speculate. Don’t pretend you have a power to calculate greater than Newton’s.
    
2. Caveat cleanly. If you’re in the touchy territory of telling people what you guess might be going on with them, let them know that it’s a guess through caveats like “I think that maybe...”, “I’m wondering if…”, or “It seems to me…”
    
3. Be careful with pejoratives and when you use them, don’t pretend you aren’t. Plenty of clinical-sounding terms are also pejoratives. Take narcissist, for example, a term both diagnostic and insulting. Or consider John Gottman’s famous "four horsemen of the (relationship) apocalypse"—criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. One can claim that these are simple descriptive terms for independent variables conducive to marriage failure. But just try describing your spouse as employing any of these four techniques. Actually, don’t; try to find more neutral words. And if you can’t, then don’t pretend they have no pejorative connotations.
    
4. Don’t caveat dirtily. Next of kin to such words as “just” and “only” are little preambles we think can sugarcoat what follows: “I don’t mean to be critical, but I think you’re procrastinating"; or, “With all due respect, I think you’re lying.” It’s not credible to caveat like that; it’s insulting. If you want to say, “With all due respect…” follow it with “…I’ll let you decide whether I’m showing you due respect.” Don’t think you can commandeer someone else's interpretation.
    
5. Take in as you dish out. Dirty caveats reveal a double standard, “I’m going to tell you all about your motives, but don’t dare try to tell me mine. I’ll tell you mine, too.” In general, if you can’t take other people psychologizing you, don’t psychologize them, at least not aloud.
    
6. Throw two stones. When you throw a stone at another glass house, toss one your way, too. Too often, when we guess at each other's motives critically, the first thing to fly out of our minds is any recollection of every having done whatever we’re critical of them doing. We must actively counteract that tendency, not with some vague, “Of course, I do it, too,” but recollection of specific times when we did it in spades.
    
7. Minimize leaping. There will be times when you have to leap to a conclusion about someone’s motives and feelings; for example if you find evidence that your spouse is cheating or your business partner is embezzling. In such situations, the leap is appropriate. You need its urgency for damage control; for example, locking down bank accounts before you’re further fleeced. Otherwise, leaping is dangerous and likely an expression of fear and other distorting emotions in you, not reflective of some sudden change in the psychology of the person you’re analyzing.
    
8. Speaking your mind is optional. This one has always been hard for me, which is why I study tongue-biting friends. I can think whatever I want, and I can make whatever guesses I want about what drives people. But I don’t have to share those guesses, and when I do, it’s probably more “note to self” than to them. If I were to psychologize my own motives, I’d say that I share in part because I don’t trust that I’ll be able to resist the sway of their motives unless I call them on them. But increasingly, I’m learning to let them have their motives in peace. 

[BBsq69]

6 minutes ago, ed2 said:

I MISS BEATRICE!!!

DO YOU MEAN LIKE THIS:

LOVELY BEATRICE!

BEAUTYFUL BEATRICE!

THE BEST EVER BEATRICE!!!

I MISS BEATRICE!

I MISS YOUR GIGGLING BEATRICE!

I MISS YOUR OPENNESS BEATRICE!

I MISS YOUR NICE PERSON BEATRICE!

I MISS EVERYTHING WITH YOU, THE BEST TENANT EVER, BEATRICE!

I COULD POST LIKE THIS TOO, BUT I FIND IT ABIT MEANINGLESS..... I REPORTED MAXFATOR, EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO POST, BUT I TOO THINK IT IS ANNOYING WHEN IT IS 5 PAGES WITH BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE, BELLE.....

Why not and you can put me ignore. that is what the ignore is for. I have at least 20 people on my list. 

I tell people this time and time again. 23 posts cover 1.5 pages not 5 by the way.

When I joined that is exactly what many on here did about Kami and Kirsty or don't you remember those days.

Of course I maybe post in big writing 2 or 3 times a day. Obviously this is too much for some people who regard it as a big part of the lives.

[BBsq69]

12 minutes ago, BBsq69 said:

I REPORTED MAXFATOR

For what. I must have missed that. he was on ignore anyway but yes I admit the ignore system doesn't work too well.

[BBsq69]

That moth in My Belle's room just left a trail on the camera. That probably indicates how dark it is unless others know more about video technology.

[BBsq69]

My Sexy WonderBelle has just started bating 

[ed2]

3 minutes ago, BBsq69 said:

Why not 

Just quoting my post took half a normal side...LOL.

3 minutes ago, BBsq69 said:

Why not and you can put me ignore. that is what the ignore is for. I have at least 20 people on my list. 

Your content doesn't provoke anyone, ingoring hides the content, if a certan poster provokes you, but ignoring not the amount of it. As yYour content doesn't provoke anyone, scrolling past "MY BELLE", or scrolling past "hiden content" is the same.

3 minutes ago, BBsq69 said:

When I joined that is exactly what many on here did about Kami and Kirsty or don't you remember those days.

OK, I wasn't around back then.

[BBsq69]

3 minutes ago, BBsq69 said:

My Sexy WonderBelle has just started bating 

I wonder what she's thinking of I'm with her it's difficult to tell even with sex  

- judging by those videos she watched in her last stay

[vlkvlk111]

32 minutes ago, ed2 said:

I MISS BEATRICE!!!

 

I miss Beatrice too

[BBsq69]

I am rather distracted at the moment.

[BBsq69]

Thank you so much My Brave Beautiful Belle. I hope you enjoyed that even more than I did.

[BorisJ]

She might die soon according to this person

 

 

 

[BBsq69]

   My Belle  

 Sexy Belle

Better Than Mila