letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 Headline of an article about an escaped patient from a secure ward in a psychiatric hospital who rapes two laundry workers and flees the scene. Nut Screws Washers and Bolts 1
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 The last time I was in a woman, I was visiting the Statue of Liberty. -Woody Allen 1
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 The New York Post’s prize pun may have been, “Headless Body Found in Topless Bar.”
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 From The Odd Couple Oscar Madison (the sloppy one) says to Felix Ungar, “I can’t take it anymore, Felix, I’m cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you’re not here, the things I know you’re gonna do when you come in, irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. Told you 158 times, I can’t stand little notes on my pillow. ‘We’re all out of cornflakes. F. U.’ Took me three hours to figure out ‘F. U.’ was Felix Ungar!” 1
letsdothis Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication. 2
letsdothis Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him … what? A super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 3
letsdothis Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancée-free. 1
letsdothis Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.) 2
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 I’ve given up social media for the New Year and I am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist. 2
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
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