letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 I'm an editorial illustrator, negotiating the fee for a magazine that centers on humanitarian and sustainability topics. Me: Sorry I can't make it work for this budget. Client: Could you just do it less detailed? The whole issue is about social justice and I thought that topic would be close to your heart. Me: What's the article about? Client: Working for unfair wages. 2
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 Q: Why did God invent yeast infections? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt. Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean? Q: Q:Why do women have legs? A: So they don't leave snail trails.
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Phillipe Floppe 2
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 Where can you go to practice math on New Year's Eve? Times Square. 1
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia. 1
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. “It’s taped under the modem,” I told him. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?” 2
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 On Facebook, the English language has few friends. Three examples: Post: I can’t stand people that don’t know the difference between your and you’re. There so dumb. Response: Their, their, calm down. Post: Is it me or does nobody have manors these days? Response: I just have a normal house. Post: I do not have patients for stupid today. Response: Patience. 1
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 Can a 3-D printer make ink cartridges for a 2-D printer?
letsdothis Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 I bet cats have a secret website where they upload clips of cute humans trying to open DVD packaging and jump-start cars.
letsdothis Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl... I said I didn’t know he could! 1
letsdothis Posted February 21, 2021 Posted February 21, 2021 I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing.” 1
letsdothis Posted February 21, 2021 Posted February 21, 2021 How to Shock a Time Traveler If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain about life today? One answer: “I possess a device in my pocket that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers.” 1
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