KarenKraft Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 History tells us that Clarabelle never got a show of its own. Had to share it with some annoying wooden puppet and a frog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenKraft Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 When taken on a whole that picture looks like the half digested remain of a bad dream, mixed with Pepto Bismol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 History tells us that Clarabelle never got a show of its own. Had to share it with some annoying wooden puppet and a frog. To keep you up to date, one Clarabelle was an intern, got pissed off, quit the job, and became Captain Kangaroo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 And then she had an illicit affair with Mr. Green Jeans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 There was a really neat guy from Australia named Frank that I used to work with. He was a lot of fun to be around. And one day when some of us guys were outside smoking, somehow food came up in the conversation. Well Frank mentioned this stuff called VEGEMITE, and was surprised that none of us had ever heard of it before. Well he got all excited, and just went on and on about how great it was. And he said that he was going to bring some in tomorrow. Which he did. Honestly I felt so badly for him. He looked positively heart broken by our response to it. But what do you do with something that looks just like axle grease, and smells like burnt rubber. I couldn't even keep it in my mouth. Trust me, your body will fight you on this, every step of the way. I mean the label on the jar says Concentrated Yeast. But that's just their clever way of trying to conceal it's true ingredients. But just take your clue from the name VEGE-MITE. It is made from the putrefaction of rotting vegetables. Yeah, that's where the yeast and it's venom like effects upon a persons taste buds comes from. It sort of attacks the nerve endings in a persons tongue, in much the same way that a bite from a coral snake would shock and fuck up a person's nervous system altogether or in general. Perhaps not to the same degree, but along those same lines, all the same. Now the Aussies happen to be immune to this stuff having been weaned on this shit ever since they were in the cradle. But believe me, this stuff is no laughing matter! Now I have heard that some like to spread this around the rim of a toilet for a truly unique dinning experience. They say it helps to balance or smooth out the different complex components and flavoring inherent within this product. But that's just hearsay. Though in certain circles Vegemite and Toilet are considered synonymous, or as one person once aptly described the experience himself as, "Shitting through ones own mouth." Anyway, you can actually make it yourself if you have a hard time finding it here in the U.S. All you need mainly is just some lettuce, with maybe an artichoke, and some asparagus, and then you need to go about crushing all this together in a bowl, and when your done mashing it up pretty good, then just take it outside and leave it in the hot sun to fester and rot for a few days into a this blackish type mold. Then once again, scrape it all back into a bowl, and then go ahead and piss some into it. In Australia they don't use urine in it's recipe, as they use the sweat from an Aborigine instead to help bring the yeasty bacteria back to life. But as Aborigines' are in short supply here in the states, urine is a good substitute. Then leave it to settle overnight with a moist wash cloth covering the bowl before compressing it the following day into some fruit jar of some kind. And presto! You have your own hand made Vegemite. :o Now go ahead and spread that on a cracker, and tell me what you've got! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I WAS just about to go have breakfast. I think I'll skip it now. Thanks for the diet plan Woody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenKraft Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 History tells us that Clarabelle never got a show of its own. Had to share it with some annoying wooden puppet and a frog. To keep you up to date, one Clarabelle was an intern, got pissed off, quit the job, and became Captain Kangaroo. I thought Captain Kangaroo was that guy who shot his girlfriend, got off on it, and got off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 I'm going to talk Admin into upgrading our welcome page banner from the blonde chick to something that more accurately reflects our membership. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I WAS just about to go have breakfast. I think I'll skip it now. Thanks for the diet plan Woody. I'm always there to help. And be sure to eat all your vegetables,.. They'll help to clean you out. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I like that Squirrel. It has a fun, resort look about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodworker Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 You know, you have to hand it to those Aussie people though, as most of them are fun loving, good natured people who always seem to wear a smile upon their face. Which is saying a lot for all that they have to contend with down there. I mean for one thing they have some of the most poisonous spiders and ants to have to put up with at times, not to mention some of the worst snakes you ever heard of that are none too shy, and will actually bite you twice just for the hell of it. Why these people can't even go about tending to their own little gardens without having to don on a full sixteenth century body armor first, including the lance to help ward off all of those pesky toads they now have hopping around down there. And then there's the sunny beach with all of those pretty girls just laying about in the sand. But even they know better than to go into the water. Or at least some do. Because if you so much as dangle a toe at the surfs edge, a ferocious man eater will rush up and will snatch you by your foot, and will thrash you all about, causing quite a bloody spectacle, and thus ruining the mood for everyone else. So yes, It's quite amazing just how resilient and buoyant these great people are, giving everything they have to put up with. But I don't know if they can continue to keep smiling for all that much longer with all of these repugnant Muslims they now have to endure as well,.. As I sense that this may well be the final straw for them. >:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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