Haven't any of you ever 'Role Played'? The whips, chains, cuffs, crying, are all part of the role. When the game is over you both laugh and hug. The crying and laughing and just cumming all over is part of the game.
When it's all over you look back and laugh.
Jeez, you kids will never get it, will ya?
Oh, look, she's crying. He hurt her. She loved every second of it. 8)