darkman Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 un hombre va a un prostibulo y le pregunta a la puta cuanto cuesta pasar un rato , ella dice , depende del tiempo , y el contesta , SUPONGAMOS QUE LLUEVE ¡ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Newfie Ice Fishing A Newfie goes ice fishing as he gets out on the ice he drills a hole and drops his line in and a voice hollers there is no fish in here. The newfie looks around can't figure where the voice is coming from. He goes down the ice further and drills another hole, drops his line in and the voice hollers again there is no fish in here. The newfie looks around and still can't figure where the voice is coming from. He reels his line in and goes down the ice a little further drills another hole, drops the line in and the voice hollers again, for the third and last time there is no fish in here. The Newfie hollers back, how do you know there is no fish in here and the voice hollers back, because I'm the Arena Manager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kidamagasha Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 A bad marriage is like playing cards.. first you want 2 hearts and a diamond.. at the end all you want is a club and a spade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoobz Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass?? ...Satisfying What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?? ...ahhhhchcccahchhhhhh Whats the difference between a white dead baby and a black dead baby?? ...10 minutes in the microwave. You know, when you think about women, you gotta say GOD is jewish?? ...Who else would put a Snack Bar next to a shit-hole What's yellow and lives off dead beatles?? ...Yoko Ono What did the Leaper say to the protistute?? ...Keep the tip bitch Whats the difference b/t a bag of coke and a baby?? ...Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out a window Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARMY SNIPER Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Not a joke but a quote... if you love something set it free,if it comes back it will always be yours if it doesn't come back it was never your's to begin with but if it just sits in your living room, messes up your shit,eats your food, uses your telephone,takes your money,and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free you either married it or gave birth to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pirate Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Wife goes for her annual check up. Doctor - Everything looks good. Is there anything else you want to discuss? Wife, rather embarrassed - Yes doctor, Dave has taken a liking to anal sex. Doctor, OK, does it hurt? Wife - At first it did but now we have some good lube. Doctor - OK, do you enjoy it? Wife, rather embarrassed again - Well I don't not enjoy it. Doctor - Well there's nothing to worry about. You are both adults, no pain and some enjoyment. Just take the usual precautions for hygiene and pregnancy. Wife - Pregnancy, can you get pregnant doing it that way? Doctor - Of course you can, where do you think politicians come from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pirate Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Enterprising Australian designed IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices) to look like prayer mats. Business is booming and prophets are going through the roof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Excerpted from an article which appeared in The Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, 'At least we'll have a bit to eat.' The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read: 'IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING'.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I have 200 pages of this shit if you really want to keep this thread alive. A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?' The farmer said, 'No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere. The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?' The farmer said,'Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question ..The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?' The farmer said, 'No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARMY SNIPER Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I have 200 pages of this shit if you really want to keep this thread alive. A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I want to get one of them dayvorces.' The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yes, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?' The farmer said, 'No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere. The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?' The farmer said,'Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question ..The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?' The farmer said, 'No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.' kinda like the one where the judge ask the redneck... judge:i don't remember ever seeing you,have you ever been up before me? redneck: i don't know your honor what time do you get up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARMY SNIPER Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Wife goes for her annual check up. Doctor - Everything looks good. Is there anything else you want to discuss? Wife, rather embarrassed - Yes doctor, Dave has taken a liking to anal sex. Doctor, OK, does it hurt? Wife - At first it did but now we have some good lube. Doctor - OK, do you enjoy it? Wife, rather embarrassed again - Well I don't not enjoy it. Doctor - Well there's nothing to worry about. You are both adults, no pain and some enjoyment. Just take the usual precautions for hygiene and pregnancy. Wife - Pregnancy, can you get pregnant doing it that way? Doctor - Of course you can, where do you think politicians come from. speaking of politicians... a politician is a elected official who will lay down Your life for his country. the problem with political jokes is they GET ELECTED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BJon Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Two Gay guys living together. First one comes in the kitchen in the morning and sees the second one jacking off with a condom on. First guy ask what are you doing? Second one answers packing your lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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