Foamy T. Squirrel Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I have 200 pages of this shit if you really want to keep this thread alive. Please continue, sir. I don't believe these jokes have hidden watermarks. We need all the fun we can get now that RLC posts are getting locked up. Incidentally, this web page is loaded with tasty morsels of humor that fit CC members taste buds: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1dztdi/what_is_the_dirtiest_funniest_going_to_hell_for/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 We have you over the 200 mark now Rodent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BJon Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 We have you over the 200 mark now Rodent. Help a skunk out I need 70 more please!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 69 now. Good number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BJon Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 69 now. Good number. Thanks that's my favorite number and position Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foamy T. Squirrel Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 We have you over the 200 mark now Rodent. Help a skunk out I need 70 more please!!!!! It's important for fluffy-tailed avatars to help one another out in our adventures. I'm glad to help whenever I can. You get a -1 from me as a token on honor. You've earned it, Pepe, with your contributions to CC, which has become (through our teamwork's back-breaking work) a great international institution. Every human avatar member who refuses to give us the proper karma ratings when we post is a pathetic, cheap bastard. For the newbies, just so you know, (and this link is a repost of my early concert series for your edification and amusement) I plead that you give me a -1 for my bad attitude, pretty please, cuz CC mods aren't even paying me peanuts for my content when I fucking deserve choice almonds! (Cheap bastards! Such humans, how pathetic they are...): Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BJon Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Thanks Foamy I need all the help I can get. - 1 for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I just dinged you both with a -1. Can't for an hour now. By then I'll be on my way out the door to pay for Obama's Entitlements Collectors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ww_watcher Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 ...meanwhile back at the topic... ;D There was this bar frequented by longshoreman... just before quittin' time for the port workers, in walks this obviously-gay fellow who "swishes" up to the bar and orders a Pink Lady. The bar tender scowls over the bar at the fellow and growls "Get your prissy butt out here before you scare off my regular customers." ( no apologies to the gay folks. This a joke so get over it.) Anyway... the fellow faces him off and says "I know my rights. Get me that drink before I call the cops..no no...the health department and have this place closed down." Growling even more the bar tender makes the drink, hands it the fellow and tells him to go sit in the corner, drink your drink and then get the hell out. A few minutes later a huge burley-man walks in, sits down at the bar and says in this big, ultra-manly voice, "Get me a beer and a bottle Jack Black to chase it down." He guzzles the beer and drinks a burely-man sized gulp out of the bottle, smacks his lips and tells the bar tender, "Fix me one of those thick steaks and couple of 'tators. I'm so hungry I could eat a whole cow." Then...from the corner of the bar... you could hear this little voice go "moooo". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside. As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar: COLD BEER: $2.00 HAMBURGER: $2.25 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50 HAND JOB: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole' biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers. She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?" The ole biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs "Why yes, yes, I sure am". The ole' biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a cheeseburger". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.' So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!' The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?' The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' 'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?' The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars . But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a queer.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ww_watcher Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Okay TBG. You got me on the second one. Bwaahahaha...sorry bwahaahaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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