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Posted

Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."

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Posted

“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life...

Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

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Posted

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. "As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "We decided to cook our own breakfast." 😂

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Posted

A little girl goes to the hospital with her mum to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mum and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa,Grandpa!!' she says excitedly, "as soon as my mum comes into the room, talk like a frog!". "Well okay my dear, but why?" replied her Grandpa. "Talk like a frog because mummy said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!" 😂

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Posted

Religion is like a penis.

It's fine to have one. Fine to be proud of it. But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. 😂

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Posted

A lady calls the police to report her husband missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 feet 2, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him.

The police then go to the nextdoor neighbour to verify this report and the lady nextdoor tells them, "You can't believe her. He's 5 feet 4, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."

The neighbour then goes and asks the lady why she gave such a false report. She replied, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I want him back!" 😂

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Posted

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'.

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