pulo filipe Posted January 21, 2022 Share Posted January 21, 2022 What's the difference between one tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The other is a big year. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 The Ding family had a son whom they named William. He grew up to become a famous architect. In fact, he traveled all over the world, designing massive structures. He was even hired to design entire cities. In fact, skyscrapers were named after him. That’s why wherever you go, you will usually find at least one Bill Ding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CasandraKail Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 27 minutes ago, letsdothis said: The Ding family had a son whom they named William. He grew up to become a famous architect. In fact, he traveled all over the world, designing massive structures. He was even hired to design entire cities. In fact, skyscrapers were named after him. That’s why wherever you go, you will usually find at least one Bill Ding. hahaha, wow, they even named him after him 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 Joke of the day Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway but rolled toward a water hazard. Quickly, Moses raised his club, the water parted and the ball rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green. The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked at the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into a gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the afore mentioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke of the day A guy calls a company and orders its 5-day, 10-lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running-shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads: "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a...... second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10-lb. as promised. He then calls the company and orders its 5-day/20-pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads: "If you catch me, you can have me!" Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent shape, and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze. So for the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20-lb. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound Program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone, "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies," I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds this huge, muscular, 7-ft man standing there, wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads: "I'm Dave. If I catch you, you're mine..." 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 (Grand)Dad joke of the day One fellow had had so much to drink at the pub because he only lived 5 houses up the road so he decided to crawl home. As his wife was sound asleep he decided to sleep in the spare room, the next morning his wife came rushing into the room and said “You were paralytic drunk again last night weren’t you?” he said “How do you know?” his wife said “The pub has just phoned you and left your wheelchair there again.” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 (Grand)Dad joke of the day Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back, "Gently pour lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer." "Computer really messed up now." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 Members, just a joke warning here! This one is a little rude... A bloke thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her, he found out she was working in a whorehouse. The guy says to the cabbie, “Wanna make $100?” The cabbie says, “Sure, what do I have to do?”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke of the day Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of guys who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John’s wife died suddenly during that period of time. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said: “I’m so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible.” Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: “Hell no! In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle…” The old lady fainted 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted January 29, 2022 Share Posted January 29, 2022 Joke of the day One night 4 college students were partying until late and did not study for a test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning, they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty as possible, with grease and dirt. They then went to the teacher and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return, a tire burst on their car and they had to push the car all the way back home and that they were in no condition to do the test. The teacher kindly allowed them to do a re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time. On the third day, they went for their test. The teacher said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days... The test consisted of 1 single question, worth a total of 100........ Q. 1. Which tire? a) Front Left b) Front Right. c) Back Left d) Back Right 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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