Alexandria

A lady calls the police to report her husband missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 feet 2, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the nextdoor neighbour to verify this report and the lady nextdoor tells them, "You can't believe her. He's 5 feet 4, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbour then goes and asks the lady why she gave such a false report. She replied, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I want him back!" 😂

Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one. Fine to be proud of it. But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. 😂

Be a long wait then. 😂

Finally decided to get apartment themselves. Good party goers. 😂

Well I'm Bisexual or greedy as some call it. 😂

Got me. Jealous as hell. Could never get anyone close to sexy as them. 😂

Sucker and a licker 😂.

And acting like a real couple happens very little on VHTV. Very funny. Showing no interest means nothing. 😂

But are they really lesbian, or just doing it to make the suckers think they are 😂.

A little girl goes to the hospital with her mum to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mum and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa,Grandpa!!' she says excitedly, "as soon as my mum comes into the room, talk like a frog!". "Well okay my dear, but why?" replied her Grandpa. "Talk like a frog because mummy said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!" 😂

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. "As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "We decided to cook our own breakfast." 😂

Q. Why are most men like diapers? A. They are usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable. Q. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? A. Condoms have evolved. They are not so thick and insensitive anymore. Q. Why did God invent the yeast infection? A. So your girlfriend knows what it's like to live with an irritating cunt. 😂

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, had a great enormous cock. All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock. All of the female reindeers had pussies that were just too small. Poor old well hung Rudolph, could not get any sex at all. Then one horny Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong..... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, a few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay." 😂

What's the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning? When he gets a sweater, but he's hoping for a screamer or a moaner. I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left. 😂

Thanks Ashley. Hope you get what you want before the year ends. Would be a nice start to a new and hopefully better year. Enjoy today. 🍷🍷

Happy birthday @ashleyxyz. 30s are not so bad haha. Merry Christmas when it comes. 🍾🍷

Very hot in that outfit. Yummy

He could well be the one that saves this failure haha.

Big belly and Moobs. Yummy haha

We are both missing out not being there haha.

So many sexy guys in one place at the same time haha.

Very sexy.

Looks better without the bush.

Will give it a go and let you know haha.

Never thought of doing that. Have to give it a try ☺