Aussie_oi_oi

With my one good eye Leora is looking sexy as hell to today.

Seriously, I love this forum.... and Leora for putting out the Koala to show her support for me!

Thanks Possum.

Do we need extra cameras in the apartment? I would like one that shows the door.

Aussie does like a nice back scratch

While we a patiently waiting for Leora's return my football team had a great win at the famous MCG. Go Carlton/ Go Blues Enjoy the 6 minutes highlights. https://youtu.be/AHnGamvy7P0

Hopefully she had a great time with her friends and is safe.

Joke of the day 😉 A boy named Johnny ran into an old man who was carrying a bag. "What's in the bag?" Johnny asked. "Magic apples", said the old man. "Prove it!", replied Johnny. "Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?" asked the old man. "Grapes and oranges", he answered. The man handed him an apple and told him to try it out. Johnny took a bite and said that it tasted like a grape. "Ok, turn it over", the old man said. Johnny did and took another bite and said that it tasted like an orange. He still wasn't convinced that they were magic. The old man told him to name something else that he liked to eat. "I like to eat p*ssy." he snapped. The man handed him another apple and told him to try it. He took a big bite, spat it out, wiped his mouth and yelled, "That tasted like sh*t". The old man looked at him, smiled and said, "Turn it over." 😉

Joke of the day 😀 A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check. He marches straight up to the Desk sits down and says, "Hi. You know, I just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really much rather have a job". The welfare worker behind the desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur -bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $100,000 a year." The guy says, "You're Joking!" The welfare worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it." 😉

Joke of the day 😉 A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Minnesota Wild fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Wild fans, too. Not really knowing what a Wild fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Wild fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be a St. Louis Blues fan.", boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Blues fan. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Blues fans, and I'm a Blues fan, too!" The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Wild fan." 😉 LGB!!

Joke of the day 😉 A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the RLC apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301 I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left.. With your elbow, hit my doorbell." "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? ........ "What . . .. .. You're coming empty handed?" 😉

I'm ready and able.

Hi Max, I agree Leora did do that to say all the best and is very thoughtful of her. It's great comfort to know everyone cares for me.

The Koala and I are lucky to have the Prime view of Leora's sexy dancing.

Thank you Leora. I got your message with the Koala on the bed. It's was very Kind of You. P.S I have a new screen saver on my computer now....

Thanks Max for the kind words. It's getting hard but I think it will end soon.

Hope your one eye'd snake gets better soon. 😁

Guys/ Leora, been a tough week for me as a eye surgeon done his best to save my right eye sight, Bloody awful operation but the surgeon is happy with his work.

https://youtu.be/s8Q_DXx5TEk

Would that be a threesome?

G'day everyone. Sorry I haven't been around much due to medical issues.

Joke of the day 😉 A school teacher asked her class to make a sentence containing the expression “I presume”. One little girl held up her hand and said: “Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes so I presume the dishwasher was broken.” “Very good” said the teacher. Another one said: “This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage. I presume the BMW wouldn’t start.” “That’s excellent” says the teacher. Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says: “Yesterday I saw grandpa leave the house with a newspaper under his arm and he headed for the bush, I presume that....” The teacher interrupted him and said, “I stopped you because you have no idea what your grandfather was going to do, so you can’t presume anything.” Johnny says, “Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence.” The teacher says, “Very well. Continue.” “As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the bush with a newspaper under his arm. I presume he was going for a shit because he can’t read. 😉

Joke of the day 😉 The Pretty Golfer Three of my friends, A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.Naturally, the guys all agreed.Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, 'Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots.'With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.The father's mouth was agape. 'That was beautiful,' he said.The blonde put her driver away and said, 'I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little.'After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)The son said, 'Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.'The blonde frowned and said, 'It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little putt.' She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.She turned to the three guys and said, 'I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course.If any one of you can tell me how to make this putt and par on this hole I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then give him the best BJ that he's ever had in his life and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.'The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, 'Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.'The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. 'Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.'The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, 'That's a gimme, sweetheart.' The blonde smiled and said, 'Your car or mine? 😉

Joke of the day 😉 Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” She says, “Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up.” After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, “Man! my hands are really freezing!” She says again, “Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up.” He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, “Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!” She looks at him and says, “For crying out loud, don’t your ears ever get cold?” 😉

Joke of the day 😉 A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, 'I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?' 'I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm. ' The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. I have never heard of that condition before' he said. 'Are you taking anything for it?' The woman nodded, 'Pepper.' 😉